Multiplying Miracles: Thoughts on John 14:12

John 14:12 "I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father."

This passage has always been one that has led me to respond, "Really Lord? You can't be serious." But I think Jesus is serious here. Jesus was fully human and fully divine, yet he was still only one man whose earthly ministry lasted less than four years. Yet he has blessed many of us with long life and a clear ministry that can last decades. Not only that, but we can pass our ministries and missions on to the next generation, steadily growing a vast army of workers to do God's will on earth. Time and communal effort multiply miracles.

Isn't it interesting that Jesus says we will do greater things because he is going to the Father, not despite it? I think Jesus needed to go to the Father instead of remaining on earth to give us space and underscore the reality that we need to take full responsibility for every aspect of our lives in him. This is a tough one for all of us. There always seems to be at least a corner of our hearts that we shield from him, keeping it in the dark, away from his blinding light (or so we think). But of course Jesus has all the time in the world and infinite patience. It is we who are slow to learn (see 2 Peter 3:9).

I think it's also interesting that this passage is a response to a request for Jesus to show his apostles the Father. I can just see the look on his face when they made this request - incredulity. "Are you kidding me?" seems to be the subtext of Jesus' response. Unlike us, Jesus reflects the Father perfectly. Yet I'm just as guilty as Philip on this front. I stand here, despite his continued presence, patience, and grace, and have the audacity to ask to see the Father. Yet in the midst of his admonishment, Jesus makes the above outlandish promise. Do we have audacity in our faith that is equal to our audacity we show in our disbelief? If so, according to Jesus himself, we will actually do greater things than he did while on earth. Amazing.

The Dirty Windshield

I was driving to work the other day and there was a lot of road grime being kicked up from the other cars on the road onto my windshield. It quickly formed a film that made it difficult to see and navigate safely. When I tried to wash the windshield, I found my washers were frozen and weren't able to spray any washer fluid on the windshield. So instead of helping the situation, my attempts at cleaning the windshield actually made it worse.

This reminded me of my prayer life at times. The stressors and difficulties of life sometimes collect on me and make it difficult to see accurately and make prudent and productive decisions. I don't see what's beyond the current situation, but begin to believe that what I'm seeing is actually "reality", not a skewed, impaired view. Prayer is like the washer. When we pray, we're able to reconnect with Reality and allow God to wash us clean of all the leftover emotions and mental and physical effects of stress.

But sometimes, I am not in a place where I can actually connect with God. Trying to pray at times like this is like trying to wash my windshield with frozen washers: I don't actually gain in God's perspective, and sometimes make things worse by coming up with my own solutions to my problems or issues. The best prayer I can say at these times is a prayer to help me stop trying to fix the situation and allow God to work through it in His time and His way. This requires patience and faith, two things which don't come naturally. But often, once I give up trying to fix myself, I find my perspective is expanded (my washers are unfrozen), and God shows up in an unexpected and refreshing way.

Hard Questions

I learned of a tragedy last week that had the potential to shake my faith. A friend of a friend who had been struggling in many areas of life committed suicide by cop a couple of weeks ago. This was disturbing on many levels, since this man was a Christ follower and had prayed with my friend just days before for God's help in his situation. It brought up all kinds of questions for me about just who God is and a lot of "why" questions. If God is in control, how can evil be allowed in this world? Why does crap like this happen? Why do good people die? Where is God's justice in this world? Where is his Spirit, his presence? Where was God when this guy was losing his mind and his life?

These are tricky questions and ones without concrete answers. It's some solace to me that they've been asked of God since biblical times - many Psalms and the book of Job pose these same queries to God. And though I haven't received many solid answers since this happened, I did have a very helpful experience last Monday. I had a short coaching session with an acquaintance in which I was the client. I brought up these tough issues. Turns out, she had been trained as a pastor (coincidence?), and was quite skilled at listening to me "pour out my lament" without judging or trying to provide answers. I learned quite a bit in that session, including:

• God does not prevent us from feeling pain as his followers. What he does is infuse the pain with the possibility of his presence.
• We are called to rely on God, not on pat answers or formulas, or on how God has shown up in past situations. There is a part of me that would much rather create an answer sheet based on what I've seen and experienced from God in the past and disengage from living life with God. That is obviously contrary to the life we are called to - a full, eternal life that begins now as we walk with God every day and allow him to stretch and reform us in his image.
• Relying on the gifts God brings into our lives vs. God is also futile. This one is quite tricky, since human nature is always searching for a substitute for God. What better to fill the role than the gifts he provides? Of course, all things that are visible are temporary. Any time we're misaligned and worshiping God's creations, the rug will surely be pulled out from under us.
• In spite of my not knowing, God still acts. I don't have to have all the answers. It's not all up to me. I am a part of God's story, not the other way around.
• All efforts to construct limits for God will be blown apart. I always thought my image of God was always being challenged and broken apart so that a larger image of God could be created. The problem is, any image we create of God in our minds and hearts is inadequate. God is alive and wild. He cannot be caged, boxed in, or understood completely. We must relate to God as a Person, because he is. We're actually called to a relationship.

Even as I type, I know I will need to be continually reminded of these realities, which is part of the reason I'm blogging about them. These aren't the kinds of paradigm shifts one makes in a day or a week. I have gained a lot from asking these questions and realizing that God is here with us in our darkness and pain, even when we can't sense him and when all evidence around us is contrary to that truth. That's where faith comes in - believing something that flies in the face of worldly evidence.