Giving Up

We are programmed to never give up in this culture. "Keep striving, keep trying, don't give up!" is a common mantra. This is usually a good thing, since it's all too easy to short-change ourselves when we meet with obstacles of any time. However, the problem with this cultural habit is it makes it more difficult to give up things when it's time to let them go. We grasp on to things that are slipping through our fingers. If our circumstances are wresting control from us, it's likely that God has something greater in mind for us. But as long as we continue to grasp on desperately to the last vestiges of control, we make it impossible for God to fill up our arms with these blessings. So what if we took a different view of giving up? What if we saw giving up something that needs to go as an offering to God?

My friend Devon (www.divinecoach.com) defines surrender as "moving over to the winning side". Now that's a revolutionary view of giving up! With Lent approaching, maybe it's time to examine our lives (yes, me too) and ask, "What am I being called to give up today?".

All Cylinders vs. Fifth Gear

I often use the term “hitting on all cylinders” to describe my ideal state of energy output. By this I mean I want to be fully engaged, not “missing out” on any potential value that I can add to the situations that I’m engaged in due to my “misfiring” on any front. I want to bring my A game as consistently and as often as I am able, regardless of the externals of any given situation.

I recently had sinus surgery to correct a deviated septum, and it threw me off this intention for a bit and prevented me from being as engaged as I usually am, and that was frustrating for a while. That is, until I thought more about this metaphor. I realized that just because an engine is working properly doesn’t mean that it’s running at full speed all the time. In fact, if you run an engine full-out for very long, it will break down. Everything (natural and man-made) needs the opportunity to recover from exertion or it won’t be able to perform for very long, and that includes humans. So I’m learning to give myself grace when there’s something about me or my situation that prevents me from running at full speed. Instead, I add the value I am able to add in the moment and try not to get hung up on whether what I’m adding is “enough”. All you can do is all you can do, and sometimes that’s not very much.

Conversely, being aware of which “gear” I’m in keeps me aware of my energy output and accountable for adding the value I’m able to add. If I’m only in second or third gear and there’s no external reason why, I can examine what’s going on inside of myself and stop any energy drains, which mostly appear as getting tied up in imagining the future or recollecting the past. It helps me to show up fully here, now instead of time travelling in my mind. Again, grace is a key element in this process, since judgment and condemnation never helped anyone accomplish anything.

Here’s to a year of full engagement, regardless of what gear you’re running in today.

Building Up My Self

I often find myself having harsh emotional reactions to situations that are less than ideal. If everything doesn't go precisely to my plan, I tend to react with some pretty predictable emotional patterns. Here are the patterns I've noticed:

• Denial - Ignoring situation altogether
• Resistance - "I don't want to."
• Rebellion - "I'm not going to."
• Self-Pity - "Why do I have to?"
• Resentment - "I shouldn't have to."
• Procrastination - Delaying engaging situation

I think I recognized a root to these patterns. I think the root here is an exultation of self. It's the core belief that I am "above" or "beyond" whatever I'm going through in one way or another. I think we all know people that have made this posture a lifestyle and they bear the effects of that posture over time. Personally, I can twist in these patterns for hours or even days before setting them down. I'd like to get to a point where I notice these thought patterns and choose not to attach to them. I truly think that's possible.

The first step, of course, is awareness. The next step is seeing that I have a choice and can choose to exult my self or humble my self to my circumstances. If I choose the latter path, I begin to see what the situation has to teach me. It also helps me to simply accept any aspects of the situation I cannot change and puts me in a mode of action to change the aspects I am in charge of. I'm not saying it's fun, but it does transmute the situation into one that is bearable and even fruitful.

The Pain of Awareness

When I began my meditation and prayer practice years ago, and as I continued to hone those skills and build my "presence muscles" through repeated contemplative practices, I always assumed at some level that the awareness I was cultivating would somehow make life all better. Now that I'm a few years into it, my awareness has grown greatly. I am aware of the fact that life is truly a miracle and a gift. I am aware of much more of the beauty and joy that surrounds me than I used to be. I'm actually "here, now" much of the time. It's great. But it's not all roses.
As my awareness has grown, I've also become aware of some destructive mental and emotional habits, of how I hurt others and sabotage myself, and how I react like a toddler when things don't go just my way. It's pretty sobering and humbling. Humiliating, actually. But as my awareness has grown, my ability to detach from these caustic patterns, to see other options, and to actually choose these healthier options in the moment has also grown. Awareness by itself doesn't make things better, it simply exposes the truth of the current reality. That reality is often more painful than we can bear, so we deceive ourselves and fall asleep. Contemplative practices act as a gradual alarm clock, helping us to awaken to whatever is in our lives, and simultaneously build the very "muscles" needed to change it when needed and appreciate it when it doesn't.

Please Participate In My Survey

I am conducting a survey to help form a set of guided meditations. I'd love to get your input to help make them the best they can be. Please hit the link below and complete the survey. It will take fewer than 10 minutes. I really appreciate your time and effort! Peace, -art

http://survey.constantcontact.com/survey/a07e2o3wp2gg3rr6bs4/start

P.S. The survey will only be live through 1/8/10, so don't delay. Thanks again!

Headwinds and Tailwinds

I ran outside last week. I run a course that’s 1.5 miles long. I simply run out and back for 3 miles total. On my way out, there didn’t seem to be any wind. It was just a calm morning. But when I got to the halfway mark and turned around, a stiff autumn wind blasted me in the face. The wind was there all along, but I didn’t notice it when it was at my back. It reminded me that the wind is always blowing, but we’re not always aware of it. More specifically, we’re not usually aware of the tailwinds--of the ways in which we are being supported and helped along in life. And when we’re met with headwinds, it’s tempting to buy into the lie that God is no longer present in those moments; that we’re all alone. But the truth is, He remains there, empowering us to run in the face of unreasonable obstacles. Take your steps of faith today, whatever that looks like for you. Be courageous. Defy your headwinds and keep running.

Essential Connections - Source

I went to trim my sideburns the other day and when I turned on the trimmer, it didn’t turn on. I opened the battery compartment and jiggled the batteries, then replaced the cover and it worked great. The batteries had power, but without the connection to the trimmer, it couldn’t move. It reminded me that when we lose touch with our Source, we lose power. I call my Source “God”. God created us, and “in him we live and move and have our being” (Acts 17:28). In other words, without God, we literally wouldn’t exist in the first place. We have no power to draw a breath or utter a word apart from the grace of God. It’s a humbling reality, but also quite profound. This also means that God is intimately invested in each one of us, knows us perfectly, and has the ability to give us precisely what we need in order to step in to the full life He promises.
In our culture, it’s so easy to run our own race apart from God. But without consciously connecting back with the One who made us, we tire out so quickly. So I try to take some time each day to connect with God consciously, through prayer, meditation, walks outside, or just by enjoying my connections with those around me. When was the last time you stopped and really connected with your Source (regardless of how you name it)? Wouldn’t now be a good time to do that?