I went to the dentist for the first time in a while last week. OK, it has been at least two and maybe three years since I last had a six-month checkup. As a result, it was a very long and quite painful visit. After taking a completely new set of x-rays, the dental hygienist proceeded to scrape, scrape, and scrape some more. Then the dentist came in and diagnosed three cavities. So much for "out of sight, out of mind". I certainly paid the price for ignoring my dental maintenance.
There are many areas like this in life that don't require much energy to maintain. The problem is, that also makes it easier to ignore things we know we should be doing. The result is always the same: pain and expense. If we don't maintain our cars, expensive repairs result. In relationships, it's easy to ignore the little warning signs our partners give out that they are unhappy, only to be confronted with emotions that seem to be "out of the blue" or worse, a "Dear John" letter. The body is another area that will only be ignored so long before it turns up the volume on us in the form of disease or injury.
The traditional Christian response to pain of this sort is that we have sinned and are being punished for our sins. I don't think that is the case here. Rather, the pain and suffering are natural consequences of inaction. It's completely predictable. We have the ability to live in concert with universal truths or against them. But sooner or later, we have to pay the piper. Richard Rohr has said that growth only occurs through great love or great pain. I must admit, like most of us, I usually fall into the latter category before growth occurs in my life.
I know there are other "dentist chairs" that I am avoiding in my life. How about you? What areas do you know you should be paying attention to that you are simply ignoring? What are the natural consequences of continuing to ignore that area? What are some simple steps you can take today to address this area?
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Still Life?
I was looking at a very nice painting the other day of some apples and cherries, a classic example of "still life". That started me thinking - the term "still life" is an oxymoron. Everything that is alive is always moving, even if only at the molecular level. This makes it impossible to pin down. Its dynamic aspect forces us to constantly change, adapt, and grow if we are to remain engaged with life. It's so tempting to cut aspects of life off or break them down to their piece parts so we can gain control over them and understand them completely. But when we do either of these things, the very element that drew us in - life itself - is gone, and the beautiful thing we hold in our hands withers and dies.
I can speak with authority on this subject because I am guilty of this error. In fact, this tendency reared its ugly head in my recent quest to earn my coaching certification. I found myself thirsty to learn all about coaching practices while in pursuit of my certification. Yet, once I achieved certification, there was a part of me that thought, "Whew, I can cross that one off the list", and I disengaged from the learning process. I was no longer on the master's journey. Instead, I was in danger of what Thomas Leonard calls a "dabbler" in his brilliant book, Mastery. According to Leonard, a dabbler is someone who is constantly chasing the newness and novelty of the latest shiny thing attracting their attention. But once the newness has worn off and reality sets in, they are off to the next thing.
Ouch. I realized I had been guilty of this very pattern, and faced a decision. Would I discard all I had learned and jump to a new practice, or get back on the path of mastery around my coaching practice? I chose to re-engage the learning process. This involved seeing my certification as a beginning point, not an ending. Sure, it's nice to have it, but without regular practice of those skills, I might as well not even have it. Said another way, I re-engaged the life in the coaching masteries. The shine has now worn off and I've been through a couple of plateaus. I now realize that this process is lifelong. Indeed, the master's journey never ends. There's always more to discover and learn, as long as we stay engaged in life.
I can speak with authority on this subject because I am guilty of this error. In fact, this tendency reared its ugly head in my recent quest to earn my coaching certification. I found myself thirsty to learn all about coaching practices while in pursuit of my certification. Yet, once I achieved certification, there was a part of me that thought, "Whew, I can cross that one off the list", and I disengaged from the learning process. I was no longer on the master's journey. Instead, I was in danger of what Thomas Leonard calls a "dabbler" in his brilliant book, Mastery. According to Leonard, a dabbler is someone who is constantly chasing the newness and novelty of the latest shiny thing attracting their attention. But once the newness has worn off and reality sets in, they are off to the next thing.
Ouch. I realized I had been guilty of this very pattern, and faced a decision. Would I discard all I had learned and jump to a new practice, or get back on the path of mastery around my coaching practice? I chose to re-engage the learning process. This involved seeing my certification as a beginning point, not an ending. Sure, it's nice to have it, but without regular practice of those skills, I might as well not even have it. Said another way, I re-engaged the life in the coaching masteries. The shine has now worn off and I've been through a couple of plateaus. I now realize that this process is lifelong. Indeed, the master's journey never ends. There's always more to discover and learn, as long as we stay engaged in life.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Redwoods
My chiropractor just got back from Northern California, where she visited the redwoods. She was blown away by how massive they are. They grow up to 360 feet, or about as high as a thirty-story building. She said the canopy blocks out the sunlight when you're in the forest so you forget that it's a sunny day until you walk out from underneath it.
But what was most amazing to me is what she shared about the root systems of these giant trees. A redwood's roots only grow eight feet underground. It seems a root system that is that shallow would not be able to support the massive weight of a giant tree such as a redwood. But what is unique is that the roots grow outward, spreading for acres and intertwining with the other redwoods in the forest. It is this combined strength that gives them the support needed to weather storms they would be unable to survive alone. The parallel to humans is obvious: we are also able to withstand so much more if our roots are intertwined with others.
In fact, this anecdote reminds me of the human system model that Dallas Willard proposes is his brilliant work, "Renovation of the Heart". In it, he includes the social aspect of ourselves as part of the model. That is, our relationships with others is actually a part of who we are. As he puts it, "The natural condition of life for human beings is one of reciprocal rootedness in others." I in you and you in me, abiding with one another through thick and thin. It is not possible to go through this world alone, though it is possible to live under the illusion of aloneness. Sometimes we just need to be reminded of those that we share roots with, and of the need for these connections.
This need for relationship points us back to the relationship of the Trinity, reminding us that even within the Godhead, there is relationship. Relationship is a universal state, one that predated even the creation of the world. The fact that we are drawn to participate in relationships as a matter of living life fully points us back to this reality. It's another beautiful example of how this universe is fashioned to constantly mirror and reveal God. Humbling, ain't it?
But what was most amazing to me is what she shared about the root systems of these giant trees. A redwood's roots only grow eight feet underground. It seems a root system that is that shallow would not be able to support the massive weight of a giant tree such as a redwood. But what is unique is that the roots grow outward, spreading for acres and intertwining with the other redwoods in the forest. It is this combined strength that gives them the support needed to weather storms they would be unable to survive alone. The parallel to humans is obvious: we are also able to withstand so much more if our roots are intertwined with others.
In fact, this anecdote reminds me of the human system model that Dallas Willard proposes is his brilliant work, "Renovation of the Heart". In it, he includes the social aspect of ourselves as part of the model. That is, our relationships with others is actually a part of who we are. As he puts it, "The natural condition of life for human beings is one of reciprocal rootedness in others." I in you and you in me, abiding with one another through thick and thin. It is not possible to go through this world alone, though it is possible to live under the illusion of aloneness. Sometimes we just need to be reminded of those that we share roots with, and of the need for these connections.
This need for relationship points us back to the relationship of the Trinity, reminding us that even within the Godhead, there is relationship. Relationship is a universal state, one that predated even the creation of the world. The fact that we are drawn to participate in relationships as a matter of living life fully points us back to this reality. It's another beautiful example of how this universe is fashioned to constantly mirror and reveal God. Humbling, ain't it?
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Today Is A Beginning
Each day is also a beginning. This morning is a starting point. Endless opportunities expand before us. You know, it doesn't matter how deep we feel we're going in life or how enlightened we become. We're actually just scratching the surface. How can you tell if you're just scratching the surface of life? Take a moment and check to see if you're still alive. If so, then you've only just begun. Yes, I mean even if you're 85, retired with great-grandkids. You're alive for a reason. God still has more for you in mind - more to experience, be, become, express, drink in, and give to others. What beginnings do you have in front of you? How are you being renewed today in your mind, your body, and your heart? What seeds would you like to sow today?
A wise friend recently told me that we don't have to worry about changing the world. Simply by being alive we change the world a little each day. The question is not, "Do I want to change the world?", but rather, "How am I changing the world?". Are you making the world a more peaceful, loving place or bringing more hatred and pain by your presence? Are you healing yourself and others or wounding? Are you expressing your true self or stifling it?
A wise friend recently told me that we don't have to worry about changing the world. Simply by being alive we change the world a little each day. The question is not, "Do I want to change the world?", but rather, "How am I changing the world?". Are you making the world a more peaceful, loving place or bringing more hatred and pain by your presence? Are you healing yourself and others or wounding? Are you expressing your true self or stifling it?
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Today Is An Ending
Today is an ending of sorts. The experiences you had today are in large part a result of what you habitually focus on and cultivate. As you stand in the garden of your life, what do you see? Are there towering trees that provide shade and fruit and beautiful flowers? Or have weeds taken over? The trees and flowers are the intentional practices and the positive, life-giving aspects of life that you focus on. The weeds are the things that crop up when we're not paying attention. If you're like most people, you probably have both elements. Like tending a garden, it takes regular, repeated effort to remove the weeds and water the trees. As the Chinese proverb states, the best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago, and the second best time is now. What tree can you plant today that will provide you shade and protection in twenty years?
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Driving the Space Shuttle Down the Street
I hear the term "will power" thrown around quite a bit. It usually comes up when people relate their latest failure in doing something they wanted to do. "I just don't have the will power", is a common refrain. When most people refer to their "will power", I don't think they're actually referring to the power of their human will (aka spirit or heart). Our will is designed to be the place where decisions are made for the rest of our selves. It's supposed to be in charge. But most of us don't navigate life by our will; instead, we navigate by emotions, thoughts, or by our bodily urges.
The problem with going through life this way is that our will ends up at the end of the line, pulled around by the other parts of ourselves instead of leading them. These other components have a fleeting, unpredictable nature. This means that whenever we're navigating life by one of them instead of our will, we will of course be on a roller coaster in our lives instead of walking on a wide plateau of stability.
I must confess that I have spent much of my life navigating life by my emotions. In fact, I recently realized that I have identified with my emotional state for much of my life. In other words, I have equated my emotional state to who I am as a person. This put incredible pressure on myself to monitor and manage my emotions. If I was feeling less than ideal, I would do all I could to stamp out that emotional state or change it as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, this meant that I was often short-changing myself in my emotional life by not allowing my emotions to be present or to allowing them to be processed naturally.
I now realize (through a painful process of self-discovery) that I am not my emotions. Rather, my emotions come and go, but they don't affect my true self, or heart (spirit/will).
We often complain that we don't enough power to change the things we want to in our lives. The simile that I sprang to mind around this idea was this: navigating life by our emotions (or any other component) instead of our will is like trying to drive the space shuttle down the street and then complaining that we can't navigate it properly. The space shuttle is not designed to drive down the street, it's designed to go into space. Likewise, the human will is actually designed with power to do things beyond our wildest dreams. But we relegate it to tasks it wasn't designed for, and put it out of order. The result is frustration and failure. But putting our will in the center and navigating by it is like lighting those boosters - it unleashes a level of power so immense that it will carry us right beyond our barriers into the stratosphere of our lives, where anything is possible and there's nothing holding us back.
The problem with going through life this way is that our will ends up at the end of the line, pulled around by the other parts of ourselves instead of leading them. These other components have a fleeting, unpredictable nature. This means that whenever we're navigating life by one of them instead of our will, we will of course be on a roller coaster in our lives instead of walking on a wide plateau of stability.
I must confess that I have spent much of my life navigating life by my emotions. In fact, I recently realized that I have identified with my emotional state for much of my life. In other words, I have equated my emotional state to who I am as a person. This put incredible pressure on myself to monitor and manage my emotions. If I was feeling less than ideal, I would do all I could to stamp out that emotional state or change it as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, this meant that I was often short-changing myself in my emotional life by not allowing my emotions to be present or to allowing them to be processed naturally.
I now realize (through a painful process of self-discovery) that I am not my emotions. Rather, my emotions come and go, but they don't affect my true self, or heart (spirit/will).
We often complain that we don't enough power to change the things we want to in our lives. The simile that I sprang to mind around this idea was this: navigating life by our emotions (or any other component) instead of our will is like trying to drive the space shuttle down the street and then complaining that we can't navigate it properly. The space shuttle is not designed to drive down the street, it's designed to go into space. Likewise, the human will is actually designed with power to do things beyond our wildest dreams. But we relegate it to tasks it wasn't designed for, and put it out of order. The result is frustration and failure. But putting our will in the center and navigating by it is like lighting those boosters - it unleashes a level of power so immense that it will carry us right beyond our barriers into the stratosphere of our lives, where anything is possible and there's nothing holding us back.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
In and Out
Language is so interesting. What we call "expressions" do just that - they express deeper or underlying truths about how we understand or relate to reality. Think about the way we use the word "out" in various expressions. We work things out, act out, give out (good or bad vibes), make out, hug it out, bring things out (into the open), we go out, figure it out, people are regularly "outed". These expressions usually relate to the release or revelation of a secret or energy, or of resolution of a dissonance.
Of course, the opposite word, "in", has just as many related expressions. We are hemmed in, boxed in, shut in, the walls close in, our guts are sucked in. These expressions usually relate to invisible things - thoughts, feelings, fears, emotions, judgements, motivations. The underlying idea here is that there is something "in" that is begging to come "out". Something hidden that is revealed. I think we try to hide things from ourselves, and from God. But whether consciously or unconsciously, fun or painful, all things come out, all things are revealed.
Jesus even talked about this in Mark 4:22, "For whatever is hidden is meant to be disclosed, and whatever is concealed is meant to be brought out into the open." So often this world reflects truths into our lives on a small scale that are true on a large scale. I believe that's how God constructed our world - to be a reflection of and point back to Himself. So if that's true, it's quite a realization-that there's no such thing as a secret, and we can only deceive ourselves for a short period of time before the truth comes "out".
What secrets are you keeping from others in your life (not just "bad" things, but what glorious things are you keeping in)? What secrets are you keeping from yourself? What things are you keeping in that are dying to get out? What would you be risking by letting them out?
Of course, the opposite word, "in", has just as many related expressions. We are hemmed in, boxed in, shut in, the walls close in, our guts are sucked in. These expressions usually relate to invisible things - thoughts, feelings, fears, emotions, judgements, motivations. The underlying idea here is that there is something "in" that is begging to come "out". Something hidden that is revealed. I think we try to hide things from ourselves, and from God. But whether consciously or unconsciously, fun or painful, all things come out, all things are revealed.
Jesus even talked about this in Mark 4:22, "For whatever is hidden is meant to be disclosed, and whatever is concealed is meant to be brought out into the open." So often this world reflects truths into our lives on a small scale that are true on a large scale. I believe that's how God constructed our world - to be a reflection of and point back to Himself. So if that's true, it's quite a realization-that there's no such thing as a secret, and we can only deceive ourselves for a short period of time before the truth comes "out".
What secrets are you keeping from others in your life (not just "bad" things, but what glorious things are you keeping in)? What secrets are you keeping from yourself? What things are you keeping in that are dying to get out? What would you be risking by letting them out?
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