Still Healing

I had surgery to fix a deviated septum in December. The surgery went quite well, but it takes at least eight weeks to feel the full benefits of the procedure. I wanted to be sure I had patience with the process, so I put a reminder on my calendar so it would remind me, "Patience - still healing", twice a week. It really helped me remember to keep my expectations in check and not expect too much, too quickly.
Since then, that thought, "Patience - still healing", has come to mind when I find myself getting twisted up about something in my life being imperfect or just not the way I want it at the moment. There are so many areas which are still healing in my life. And, God willing, I'll continue to heal and grow so eventually the things that bother me today won't be such a big deal. I imagine there will be a whole new layer of challenges to overcome at that time. But I'm beginning to understand that the cycle of being stretched outside of my comfort zone, growing in the ways I'm being called to grow, and being stretched again is all part of the process of life. Without this process, it's easy to fall in to atrophy. Sure, it's painful, but the pain is directly proportional to my investment in my old ways of being or relating to the world. And the gifts that I receive when I embrace this process are way beyond my imagination.
So the next time you find yourself railing against any situation, just tell yourself, "Patience - still healing".

The Dirty Windshield

I was driving to work the other day and there was a lot of road grime being kicked up from the other cars on the road onto my windshield. It quickly formed a film that made it difficult to see and navigate safely. When I tried to wash the windshield, I found my washers were frozen and weren't able to spray any washer fluid on the windshield. So instead of helping the situation, my attempts at cleaning the windshield actually made it worse.

This reminded me of my prayer life at times. The stressors and difficulties of life sometimes collect on me and make it difficult to see accurately and make prudent and productive decisions. I don't see what's beyond the current situation, but begin to believe that what I'm seeing is actually "reality", not a skewed, impaired view. Prayer is like the washer. When we pray, we're able to reconnect with Reality and allow God to wash us clean of all the leftover emotions and mental and physical effects of stress.

But sometimes, I am not in a place where I can actually connect with God. Trying to pray at times like this is like trying to wash my windshield with frozen washers: I don't actually gain in God's perspective, and sometimes make things worse by coming up with my own solutions to my problems or issues. The best prayer I can say at these times is a prayer to help me stop trying to fix the situation and allow God to work through it in His time and His way. This requires patience and faith, two things which don't come naturally. But often, once I give up trying to fix myself, I find my perspective is expanded (my washers are unfrozen), and God shows up in an unexpected and refreshing way.