Power vs. Control

I recently figured something out that has sweeping implications for me. I realized that there is a big difference between "power" and "control". Power is defined as the ability to act or accomplish something. Control, on the other hand, is focused around dominating or exercising restraint or command over something.

As human beings, we are imbued with an incredible amount of power. We have power beyond our understanding and imagination. The vast majority of our power is never tapped consciously. Instead, we often end up as victims of our own subconscious as it feeds back to us unconscious beliefs, fears, and hangups that we have fed it all our lives. One of the keys to fulfillment is to look into these dark areas and bring the lies and limitations that usually remain hidden to light.

By contrast, we have control over very little in our lives. We cannot control the economic or family situation we are born into, or the wounds and limitations of our families. We cannot control the weather or what obstacles we may encounter each day. We can only control our attitudes and responses to what life throws at us. And since most of us don't understand how to do this in a conscious way, we don't even take control over the precious little that we have domain over in our lives.

Why is this distinction so important? I have often gotten the two confused, to my detriment. I have a pattern of getting really excited about something new in my life and attempting to seize control of it until I choke all the life and fun out of it, then disengaging completely, moving on to a new area of focus. This usually happens in areas in which I have a natural talent. I get excited about how much power I can bring to a challenge, and I want to control all aspects of the area - how, when, and how often I get to express my power. But since I don't have domain over that, I end up being frustrated that things aren't happening just as I'd have them happen, and I often give up.

Coaching was like this for me. I got so excited last year when I learned about coaching and how natural it was for me. I knew down deep that I had discovered a key vocational expression for myself. After I earned my certification, I thought clients would simply pour in to my practice without my having to lift a finger. This didn't happen, of course. When it didn't happen like I wanted it to, I stopped all my efforts to learn and express the craft of coaching and my coaching "muscles" fell into atrophy. It wasn't until November that I realized I had fallen into this pattern and got engaged again in the pursuit of coaching mastery.

I think this distinction is especially crucial for Christians. As followers of Christ, we hear so often that we are to surrender to God and to God's will for our lives. But too often, I think we stop exercising the most precious gift in the world - that of the human will. The power of the human will cannot be overestimated. Just witness the people who, through sheer human determination (will) accomplish amazing feats, even without a conscious understanding of who God is or a conscious relationship with Him (I say "conscious relationship" because we all have a relationship to God, but sometimes we don't acknowledge it). But God's will for us is to have a full, vibrant, dynamic life. In order to have this life he wants for us, we need to exercise our will. We need to figure out what it is we really want and go for it. We need to dream, take chances, strive, and fail. We need to come to the end of ourselves so we can recognize our abject need for His strength. To me, a big part of surrender is surrendering my right to be lazy, to give up easily in the face of obstacles. If we can do all things through Him who strengthens us, we have no excuse to be defeated by this world's challenges. We just have to rely on God to supply the strength that we cannot muster in crucial moments.