Self Absorption

I busted myself last week trying desperately to gain a sense of peace by managing my external circumstances instead of managing my internal state. As long as everything was perfectly calm around me, I gave myself permission to be at peace. But as soon as anything went contrary to how I had envisioned it, I allowed it to disturb me.
Once I realized what I was doing, I also realized how silly it was to try to gain peace of mind this way. This approach puts us at the mercy of our circumstances. It is like focusing on the surface of the water and trying to keep it still in order to catch a reflection of the sky. All the while, we can simply raise our eyes heavenward and see the sky directly. There's no need for the surface of the water to be still as a prerequisite.
God doesn't promise a life with no tension or storms, but rather an Eternal Presence in the midst of those difficulties. Just lift your gaze beyond yourself and you will be amazed at the peace and clarity God will provide even in the midst of incredible difficulties.

Sufjan Stevens

I just created a Sufjan Stevens station on www.pandora.com . Just sitting here listening to his music and the likes of Iron & Wine (another perennial favorite), I felt compelled to sing his praises a bit. What is it about his music that elicits such deep, consistent feelings of peace and well being in me? It's nuts. It's a very consistent experience for me. It's an amazing experience, not like listening to music at all. It's actually a whole lot more like worship than anything. My soul nods to the Creator of the Universe, thanks Him for being there and for creating me, and relaxes its grip on the things slipping through its fingers for a moment. When I listen to Sufjan, it's as if all is well in the world. All is rightly ordered, God is in control, and I am safe. And this despite any of the crap I am dealing with in my current life situation.

I am just amazed at people who are so musically talented that they have the ability to draw out this unspoken message from inside other people. I wonder if it's an intentional thing, or merely a side effect of someone in his or her bliss, expressing the deep reality of who they are that speaks to others in such a powerful way? Either way, I don't care. I'll take it as a free gift of this amazing, puzzling, and sometimes maddening life we have here. Thank you, Lord, for Sufjan Stevens.