Essential Connections - Will

The human will is the most precious gift ever bestowed on humanity. According to Dallas Willard in his book “Renovation of the Heart”, the purpose of our will is to be the executive center of our selves. It is intended to serve as the place where our decisions get made. He also refers to it as the heart or spirit. Think of the will as the part of you that’s in charge (on your better days at least).

One way to monitor the state of your will is to pay attention to your attitude or posture. Attitude and posture are two very closely related words that relate to how we show up in the world. When you wake up, what is the first thought in your mind? Is it one of dread, fear, or guilt? Or is it full of hope, joy, and gratitude? These thought patterns are another habit that actually can be influenced greatly by your attitude. We have the ability to focus on whatever we want to in our lives, and to interpret our experiences in any way we choose. So you can train yourself to look for the good in every situation and to pay attention to the beauty and joy that surrounds you. Yes, I know that there is also plenty of pain, evil, and struggle in this world. I’m not denying their existence. But there are also an abundance of free gifts that we all get to partake in simply because we are alive. And being grateful for the gifts you have in your life already will help you build the strength of will needed to face the dark and difficult areas of life.

What happens when our will gets misused? A major issue occurs when we attach our will to any other functional part of our selves, or worse yet, our experiences. This can happen so gradually and subtly that it’s hard to know that it’s happening until you find yourself trapped or facing a set of choices, none of which seem appealing. The example I’ll use here is attaching our will to our emotions, since I’m a bit of an expert on that one. This habit moves our emotions to the center, and drags the rest of us along with them. I don’t have to tell you that emotions are fleeting. If you’re a human, you have experienced strong emotions and mood swings. The fact that emotions are temporal and intense isn’t necessarily bad. Emotions serve a great purpose in our lives. They help bring texture and color to life. The problem comes when we put them in the driver’s seat. They tend to run us right into the nearest tree. Ouch.

How do you know if your will is strong? The best way to monitor the strength of your will is to simply pay attention to your decision making. Do you do what you say you’re going to do? This applies to what you say to others and what you say to yourself. If you follow through on your commitments, your will is strong. If not, then your will needs work. The good news is we can exercise it like any other part of our selves. How do we exercise our will? By making decisions. To practice exercising your will, take yourself off autopilot for a time and pay attention to the kinds of decisions you usually make automatically. Then you can decide consciously if you want to continue to make those decisions in that way or not. If you want to change those patterns, you can create new habits to change your “default setting”. It takes time and effort, but it IS possible to change these habits. Keep working at it, you are worth it!

The Tapestry

Life is made up of many elements. As a tapestry is many threads woven together - threads of different color, texture, and length - so life contains many different threads. To tell the truth, there are a lot of threads in my life that I’d rather not be there. I really don’t like pain. I’d rather have no pain or even struggle or difficulty in my life, thank you very much. Sure, I try to be thankful for everything that’s in my life. But it’s hard to be thankful for injuries, disease, pain, and suffering. It’s tempting to say that these things serve no purpose and should be battled, eradicated from life, or that we should always run away from them or ignore them. There are times to take up arms and go to battle, for sure. And there are times to remove yourself from painful situations. But what if all of the unsavory elements in your life do indeed have a purpose? I wonder what would happen if, instead of a knee-jerk, self-preservation response, we simply asked each of these threads to speak to us? What would they have to say? What are they trying to show us about ourselves, or about reality? Are you giving your unwanted threads a chance to speak to you?