Metaphors and Musings

Men In White Coats

2011-08-21T03:44:00.000-07:00

So let's talk about this thing you're labeling a "failure" for a bit. I want you to think of a lab scientist--white lab coat, hornrims, short hair--got him? Good. Now, think about what happens when he runs an experiment. Let's say he runs an experiment and the results don't support his hypothesis. What does he do? Does he put his head in his hands, weep and moan, and assume he is a failure because the experiment failed? Um no, he just matter-of-factly grabs a clipboard and makes a check in one of two columns. Then what does he do?

He runs the experiment again. He would be a very bad scientist indeed if he only ran every experiment once, then assumed that the single result (success or failure) is the way the experiment will always turn out, no?

OK, so maybe you should try your experiment again. Just sayin.

Do It Again...and Again

2011-07-20T12:33:00.000-07:00

“Now you swear and kick and beg us
That you’re not a gambling man
Then you find you’re back in Vegas
With a handle in your hand

You go back Jack do it again
Wheel turnin’ round and round
You go back Jack do it again”

–Do It Again, Steely Dan

“Do it again” - three of the toughest words in the English language. I hate redoing things. I just want everything that I do to be right the first time, and I want those around me to perform the same way. In the past I’ve equated having to do things again with failure. Could it be my expectations are flawed? Said another way, if we’re supposed to get things right the first time, why do we find ourselves doing the same things over, and over, and over…again?

Whether we want to admit it or not, repetition is comforting. There is a part of us that craves the familiar. That’s way we have choruses in music. Ever heard a song without a chorus? It’s hard for most to listen to. You can also see the affinity for repetition in children. Never make a silly face at a four-year-old unless you’re prepared to do it 100 times. And when you have had your fill and say, “OK, this is LAST TIME” and you do repeat the face, what do they say? “AGAIN!”

Repetition aids learning. Are you more apt to remember someone’s name you have only heard once, or one that you’ve heard 100 times? I bet you have had this experience – you listen to a song 1000 times, yet the next time you hear it, you hear something new. It strikes you in a new way. A new message is delivered, despite the content being unchanged. This exact phenomenon happened to me as I was preparing this blog. We don’t hear the whole message the first time we hear the message – ever. Information is always filtered through our minds, through what we’re dealing with in our lives at that moment. So what gets through to us changes each time we hear the message. Plainly said, we are slow to learn. Repetition provides us more opportunities to “get it” in new ways. As Cherie Carter-Scott wrote in her thought-provoking one-pager called “Ten Rules for Being Human”,

“You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called, ‘life’. Lessons are repeated until they are learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can go on to the next lesson. If you’re alive, that means there are still lessons to be learned.”

Not only do we naturally like repetition, the world is also designed around cycles. You can observe the presence of cycles in nature as the seasons pass. In addition, every religious tradition in history has its cycle of life and transformation – the Eastern traditions have the karmic wheel, the Christians embrace the cycle of birth, death, and resurrection, and the Jewish tradition tells of moving from bondage, to freedom, then back to exile.

Yet to answer my earlier question, “Why do we find ourselves trapped in seemingly endless cycles of repetition?” we need to go back to the Steely Dan song.

“Now you swear and kick and beg us / That you’re not a gambling man
Then you find you’re back in Vegas / With a handle in your hand”

This is the thing that hit me when preparing this message, even after hearing this song for decades. Do you see it? The slot machine in the song represents the karmic wheel, and our hero has been caught in a lie. And it’s not something he does consciously – he “finds himself” in Vegas with a handle in his hand, pulling it again, and again, and again, each time expecting a jackpot but only getting busted. He is out of integrity – he has said one thing and done another. So he’s on the treadmill. Again.

In my life, I left corporate life in 2005, vowing never to return. I told myself I was committed to finding my true calling regardless of the financial impact to my income. Almost a year later, I was still searching with very few answers and less income. But did I take the jobs offering me half (or less) of my corporate salary for the opportunity to do something “significant”? Nope. Instead, I ran back to my old company, returning to my old salary level, to do it all over again. I acted contrary to my words. The result? “Go back, Jack, do it again.”

So what do you do when you find yourself on the treadmill, stuck in a rut? First of all, relax and put away the self-torture devices. Give yourself some grace and simply notice what’s going on. Strive to become OK with doing things over, especially when you don’t see the point of it all. Sometimes repetition is necessary. We are programmed for it, it helps us learn, and sometimes it points out plainly when we are out of integrity. But it’s not necessarily a “bad” thing. It just is. We are in bondage when we fight against reality. True freedom lies in making new choices in the face of the same stimuli. As T.S. Eliot so eloquently put it, “We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.” Said another way by Marcel Proust, “The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.” And when you take the time to seriously consider what you may be missing or what you can learn from the present conundrum, that’s when you find the strength to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again.

Multiplying Miracles: Thoughts on John 14:12

2011-03-28T05:56:00.000-07:00

John 14:12 "I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father."

This passage has always been one that has led me to respond, "Really Lord? You can't be serious." But I think Jesus is serious here. Jesus was fully human and fully divine, yet he was still only one man whose earthly ministry lasted less than four years. Yet he has blessed many of us with long life and a clear ministry that can last decades. Not only that, but we can pass our ministries and missions on to the next generation, steadily growing a vast army of workers to do God's will on earth. Time and communal effort multiply miracles.

Isn't it interesting that Jesus says we will do greater things because he is going to the Father, not despite it? I think Jesus needed to go to the Father instead of remaining on earth to give us space and underscore the reality that we need to take full responsibility for every aspect of our lives in him. This is a tough one for all of us. There always seems to be at least a corner of our hearts that we shield from him, keeping it in the dark, away from his blinding light (or so we think). But of course Jesus has all the time in the world and infinite patience. It is we who are slow to learn (see 2 Peter 3:9).

I think it's also interesting that this passage is a response to a request for Jesus to show his apostles the Father. I can just see the look on his face when they made this request - incredulity. "Are you kidding me?" seems to be the subtext of Jesus' response. Unlike us, Jesus reflects the Father perfectly. Yet I'm just as guilty as Philip on this front. I stand here, despite his continued presence, patience, and grace, and have the audacity to ask to see the Father. Yet in the midst of his admonishment, Jesus makes the above outlandish promise. Do we have audacity in our faith that is equal to our audacity we show in our disbelief? If so, according to Jesus himself, we will actually do greater things than he did while on earth. Amazing.

Movie Review: The King's Speech (2010)

2011-02-18T13:35:00.000-08:00

The King's Speech is my story and yours. On the surface, it's a fictionalized account of a reluctant king and his speech coach in 1930's England. But you don't have to dig very deeply to discover layers of symbolism about finding one's voice, facing (and slaying) demons, and the power of relationship waiting to be discovered. Geoffry Rush and Colin Firth are their usual brilliant selves as they parry and thrust their way to a lifelong friendship. Each of them expresses such complete vulnerability on screen that I immediately identified with aspects of each of these characters, and recognized a deep longing inside of myself around other aspects of them.
Rush turns in a performance for the ages (hello, Oscar). I pray I will someday have the absolute, full-bodied confidence in my craft as he has in his. He pushes, pokes, and prods his royal client at just the right time and in just the right way throughout the film to challenge and sharpen him. But he never takes responsibility for Firth's character (the prince and later king). He knows which rules to break and which ones to hold fast to. I especially enjoyed the interactions between Rush and the Archbishop, a symbol of the way things have always been done. He helps his client, Firth, find his voice and stare into the face of his greatest fears, then walk away triumphant. The story and the performance are both dazzling.
Firth's performance may be a bit overlooked here, but shouldn't be. Even though I had seen him in several films, it didn't take long before I was right there with him, feeling his frustration and anger over the lack of ownership of his life and his impotence, expressed through his inability to have even the most basic verbal interactions. He is humiliated to be reduced to working with a commoner, and enters their relationship a broken, wounded, angry man. The emergence of his character is subtle and the performance is perhaps even more brilliant than Rush's.
This is an important film to see, even if you're not a movie fan. Pay special attention to the content of the speech in the final scene. The ideas contained therein are a big reason why, IMHO, the Allies were triumphant in WWII. And the amazing courage displayed by each of these protagonists is the core of the human journey - challenge, failure, struggle, relationship, hard work, emergence, triumph. Bravo, gentlemen. Thank you for this gift to humanity.

Simplicity and Complexity

2010-10-20T10:47:00.000-07:00

I am often surprised by the infinite complexity within any field of study. Physics, sociology, psychology, leadership, theology, cosmology – you could take any of these fields and focus on one of the specialties contained therein for the rest of your life, and never plumb its depths. Eventually, if you stay in any field of study and continue to explore it long enough, you will have explored everything that’s already been discovered, and you become one of the pioneers. You begin to assimilate new understandings and test your own theories based on what you’ve learned and experienced. This is where “original” thought comes into play (though we know nothing is truly “original”, right?).

Becoming a pioneer doesn’t mean we come to the end of a subject, however. I believe that life is constructed to be inherently mysterious, so that as we learn more about a particular subject, part of what we discover is that we can’t know it all. The latest development in physics research (e.g. string theory) is a great example. As we get closer to discovering the very mysteries of how the universe is constructed, the answers get more ambiguous and these great minds eventually just throw up their hands and say collectively, “We don’t know.” This is a comforting reality to me. I don’t want to live in a world that can be plumbed fully. I always want there to be something more to discover, learn, and embody.

On the other hand, the more I learn about the essentials of life, the simpler things get. (Notice I didn’t say “easy”, I said “simple” – many people have written about this distinction). I think life basically boils down to 1) waking up, and 2) growing up (doing our inner work). Most of the energy many of us expend on a daily basis is related to either staying asleep and numbing pain or avoiding the things we really know we need to do. Of course, one must first become aware of something before making a choice to do something about it. And unfortunately, human nature is such that we usually need to feel loads of pain before we’ll actually do something different consistently. And even then, it’s no guarantee substantive change will occur. But the thing that gives me hope here is the centrality of the human will. The will is where decisions are made. Once we make the decision to wake up and grow up, the entire universe begins conspiring to assist us in that effort. All other details begin to align and almost take care of themselves if we make an honest, consistent effort on these two fronts. We don’t even have to succeed; we just need to want to. Whatever “it” is for you, if you really want it – really, really, really – you can get it. But be prepared, it will cost you the illusions you hold most dear.

"Sorry" Doesn't Fix The Mess

2010-08-23T08:38:00.000-07:00

My three-year-old continues to be my best teacher. Yesterday he knocked some stuff off the counter. When we called him on it, he apologized immediately. But I said to him, “Thank you for your apology, but it doesn’t fix this mess. Clean it up.” And that’s when it hit me – this is EXACTLY what I do with God! I screw up, God forgives me, then I move on. But too often I don’t stop to see clearly what mess I may have created and take steps to clean it up. I miss the fact that being forgiven merely enables me to clean up my mess, but doesn’t clean it up on its own. This is a basic reality. In fact, this truth is something A.A. gets quite well. Step 9 of the 12 steps reads: “[We] made direct amends to such people (persons harmed) wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.”

My messes are rarely physical in nature at this age, but it’s much more difficult to clean up spiritual and emotional messes, isn’t it? A physical mess I can usually take care of myself, but “cleaning up” in the invisible realm usually means admitting I’m wrong and asking someone else for forgiveness or other assistance. It means putting me at risk of being rejected. But it needs to be done, otherwise I find myself facing a years-old mess, which has hardened and festered and is really ugly and pernicious. It’s much harder to begin the cleanup effort when things have reached this stage.

I also find it’s much more difficult to make internal amends than it is to make amends to others. When I’m the one doing the hurting and receiving the injury, I usually need some third-party intervention in order to gain enough perspective to be able to forgive myself and move on. But if the hurt is allowed to continue unhealed, it has dramatic, destructive effects long-term.

What mess do you have to clean up? If something comes to mind, don’t delay, but take a concrete step toward that healing today.

Things I Say To My Children That God Is Really Trying To Say To Me

2010-07-30T13:39:00.000-07:00

Take a deep breath.
Clean up your mess.
Can you ask nicely?
What a bummer.
Look at me.
I know you don't like the taste of this, but it's for your own good.
I got you.
You're safe.
You can do it.
Keep trying.
We make rules because we love you and want you to be safe.
Sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do.
Keep your pants on, you're not gettng naked. (OK, not this one so much - just seeing if you're paying attention!)
Hang on with me.
Take a bite. You'll like it.
Give me a kiss and a hug.
That's too bad, there isn't a choice.
Be gentle.
No hitting.
It's not time to play, it's time to ______ (work, eat, sleep, etc.)
Excellent job, buddy!
What a sweet baby.
Shhh.
I love you.

God's Will?

2010-07-14T12:46:00.000-07:00

I just found this study on the Internet...be careful when citing God's will as your reason for doing anything...it turns out that's a pretty malleable concept...

Creating God In One’s Own Image For many religious people, the popular question “What would Jesus do?” is essentially the same as “What would I do?” Through a combination of surveys, psychological manipulation and brain-scanning, researchers found that when religious Americans try to infer the will of God they mainly draw on their own personal beliefs. They use their own beliefs as a starting point, which colors their final conclusions about what God wants.
Researchers even manipulated people to change their views on God by getting them to read a speech that either supported or went against their (and God’s) stated position. The task shifted people’s attitudes towards the position in their speech, either strengthening or moderating their original views, and altering their estimation about what God’s attitude was.
People may use religious agents as a moral compass, forming impressions and making decisions based on what they presume God as the ultimate moral authority would believe or want. The central feature of a compass, however, is that it points north no matter what direction a person is facing. This research suggests that, unlike an actual compass, inferences about God’s beliefs may instead point people further in whatever direction they are already facing. If the first link is too academic, here’s another link to an article about the research.

Movie Review: The Visitor (2007)

2010-07-14T08:07:00.000-07:00

We just watched The Visitor (2007) for the first time this week. I was riveted by this movie. The characters were real and nuanced. The direction really allowed the actors to settle in and embody the characters. The cinematography and editing really let you feel New York in an unflinching manner vs. the glitz and glamour in which large studios usually cloak the city. The story was compelling without being sugary-sweet or formulaic. In fact, I was continually surprised by the way the story kept evolving with new layers being revealed and highlighted throughout. In that way it was very much like life. It was also similar to life in that everything wasn’t sewn up neatly at the end. This shows much courage by Participant productions, and was quite refreshing, though a bit unsettling.
I think that was really the point of the movie – to leave the viewer unsettled and upset, just as its characters are. It leaves you with many more questions than answers – how can injustices such as this one happen in modern-day America? Is the episode an injustice, or justice? It also illustrates how issues that are so black-and-white when you’re dealing with abstractions become nuanced, sticky, and difficult when the issue is breathed to life in the form of an actual person.
The other theme that screamed at me was the plight of the main character, Professor Walter Vale (played brilliantly by Richard Jenkins), who hadn’t been really living his life for some time. The complications of the plot call him to truly connect with others for the first time in decades, and force him to care about subjects that were completely off his radar previously. It’s an amazing illustration of just how many aspects of life are transparent to us until we are confronted by them.
If you’ve seen The Visitor, what are your theories about how Prof. Vale’s life changes from the end of the movie forward into his life? I have my theories, but I’ll keep them to myself until I hear from you.

Pain or Pain? - You Choose (from Mattison Grey)

2010-06-25T07:05:00.001-07:00

I had to share this blog post from my friend and colleague Mattison Grey. It's very compelling and thought-provoking (so the claims about physical strength and accomplishment are hers, not mine, ha). Mattison is actually participating in the Best Coaching Blogs contest sponsored by the School of Coaching Mastery (Julia Stewart's school), so if you like the post as much as I did, please follow the link at the end of the post and vote for the blog, and post a comment to her blog if you are so compelled. Thanks.

Life is painful. There, I said it.
Everyday we have some sort of pain that shows up: emotional, physical, mental, something. Consequently we spend much of our time running from pain. We hire therapists, life and business coaches, or consultants to help us figure out how to get out of pain and stay there. We self medicate with alcohol, food, tobacco, prescription drugs, sometimes even illegal drugs. Coaching alone is over a billion dollar a year business. Add to that what people are spending on therapists, counselors, consultants and doctors and that’s a ton of money spent trying to get out of pain. I can’t say I blame people.
The problem is we are looking in the wrong direction for relief or freedom.

Read the rest of this post here...

http://www.schoolofcoachingmastery.com/best-coaching-blogs-2010

More From Richard Rohr

2010-06-17T07:30:00.000-07:00

I get a daily meditation email from Richard Rohr's Center for Action and Contemplation. He's really rocking it right now--check out exhibit A below. Have a lovely day!

Question of the Day:How will the New Cosmology affect my relationship with the earth?

Once you are reconnected and realigned with God in this New Cosmology, it is no longer a disenchanted universe, as it is for most postmodern people. If people had experienced the soul of the earth, we could never have poured chemicals and pollutants into the rivers the way we did for the past one hundred years. We could never have filled the world with trash and garbage.
But the material world was of no consequence. It was just to get human beings to heaven. As Brian McLaren says, salvation became “an evacuation plan for the next world.” Then this world doesn’t mean anything as such. It’s merely a holding tank, even though the Bible ends with the promise of the “new heavens and a new earth” (Revelation 21:1). This earth is clearly seen as participating in this mystery called redemption, liberation, salvation. It’s not just about the human beings.
The whole creation, as Romans 8:18-25 says, “is groaning in one great act of giving birth.” The whole thing is being reborn, recovered, realigned.

Release and Renew

2010-06-16T08:58:00.000-07:00

This morning I tried to log on to the network at work, and was unable to connect to the Internet. My computer hadn't severed the connection from my personal network from yesterday. I knew what I had to do in order to restore the connection. It's a process all the tech heads are familiar with - "release and renew". It's where you tell the computer to let go of the old Internet connection and re-establish a new connection.
It got me to thinking, there are probably many areas in my life that could use a "release and renew" process. We humans tend to hold on to things for longer than they are useful, and it's impossible for us to receive anything better when we are attached to what's already here. The scary part is the part between the "release" and the "renewal" - this is the step that usually feels like falling or stepping into the dark. It's not usually an instantaneous renewal or replacement. There's usually a period of uncertainty and doubt that demands we continue to step out in faith with no guarantee of what the "renewed" connection is going to look like. But inevitably, if we've done the work and truly released what we were holding onto, the new connection always gives us what we need and serves us in a better, purer way.

Value Isn't Free

2010-06-14T12:19:00.001-07:00

All valuable items (tangible or intangible) cost something to get; whether this price is time, money, effort, or more than one of these things. And the more valuable the item is, the higher the price that will be paid.
This wouldn't be an issue in a vacuum, but since most of us are operating with very little margin, invested in many different areas of life and in various pursuits, any new pursuit means we need to give up something in order to get what we say we want. And if we refuse? That's easy - a void will be created one way or another. This usually appears as a destruction or removal of something in our lives that is taking up valuable resources. If our deepest desires and our shallow wants are at odds, the shallow pursuit needs to be set aside to make room for the deep, real, true, abiding gift to appear.
So if your words aren't matching your actions (e.g. you say you want to lose weight but continue to shovel in the sweets), ask yourself what you have given up in pursuit of the goal. It may not be fun to deny yourself in the short term, but the price to be paid in the long term is much higher.
And remember, the payoff isn't usually dramatic and sexy, but ordinary and incremental. This is just a reality of growth. Shoots don't appear immediately from the soil, but only after a period of nurturing and attending without seeing any visible results. Growth only appears after we pay the price of being patient and present during this time when "nothing" is apparently going on. But to quote the movie Peaceful Warrior, "Nothing is never going on." To put it another way, my friend Devon Plumberg says, "Don't assume you have to be doing something in order for anything to be going on."

The Present Lighting the Past

2010-05-30T13:28:00.000-07:00

My tendency is to throw away past experiences that don't match my current experience. (Actually I think this is a human tendency so I guess that proves it.) So when I have any difficulty, there's a part of me that says, "Oh, all that peace I was feeling before was a lie, and this is reality." But reality consists of both light and shadow, peace and struggle, sunshine and rain. They are both valid and have their place and purpose in life. I may see my past experiences differently in the light of today, but that's just part of presence - allowing my experiences to transform me.

Until I learn this truth completely, I write to remind myself: the miraculous feeling of peace that I had been feeling before the current crisis broke is real and valid. Both situations are gift-givers and teachers. They just come bearing different gifts and teaching different lessons. Or is the lesson the same - "trust in God"? It's a good thing God is eternally patient with us, giving us the rest of our lives to learn that lesson.

Richard Rohr's Daily Message Today

2010-05-25T08:16:00.000-07:00

I receive a daily meditation from Richard Rohr's Center for Action and Contemplation. I thought today's message was particularly helpful, so I thought I'd share. You can sign up here: http://www.cacradicalgrace.org/

After the first levels of enlargement, connection or union, and some degree of emancipation, mystical experiences lead to a kind of foundational optimism emerging. We would usually call it hope. You wonder where it comes from, especially in the middle of all these terrible things that are happening in the world. Hope is not logical, but a participation in the very life of God (just like faith and love).
The next descriptor I’d like to add is a sense of safety. Anybody who has ever loved you well or has felt loved by you always feels safe. If you can’t feel safe with a person, you can’t feel loved by them. You can’t trust their love. If, in the presence of God, you don’t feel safe, then I don’t think it’s God—it’s something else. It’s the god that is not God. It’s probably what Meister Eckhart is referring to when he says, “I pray God to free me from God.” He means that the God we all begin with is necessarily a partial God, an imitation God, a word for God, a “try on” God. But as you go deeper into the journey, I promise you, it will always be more spacious and more safe. If you still feel a finger wagging at you, you’re not going deeper. You’re going backwards.

Birds Walking Around

2010-04-30T13:42:00.000-07:00

I saw a compelling bumper sticker a few weeks ago: "When birds can't fly, they walk." That got me to thinking about how we're all designed to fly in our own way, but we often limit ourselves to walking instead of flying. Let's face it, flying is dangerous. You can fall and hurt yourself. The fear of the potential pain keeps most of us earthbound. But flying also enables you to travel much farther than walking and see things from a perspective not possible from the ground. It also calls others to flight.

I have often taken pot shots at those "birds" I see soaring near me. How dare they fly around me, taunting me? Can't they see my wings have been clipped, that I'm not able to fly like they do? But it's easy to bring down those who are soaring. It's much more challenging to continue to care for my wounds and work on the healing I need to do in order to get to a state where flying is the most natural thing in the world. This is a state where walking seems silly. This is a state of mind that says to me, "Why wouldn't you just spread your wings and take flight? So what if you fall and get hurt? You'll be able to rise, heal, and try again."

I'm trying desperately to listen to and heed that voice. I pray it will grow stronger as my wings continue to heal and work themselves back and forth, priming themselves for that first (or next) big flight. And I pray that voice grows within you as well.

"Your Life Is Your Life" Quote from Taming Your Gremlin

2010-04-27T07:58:00.000-07:00

This quote was so inspiring to me that I copied it and pasted it to my wall. Please let me know if you resonate with it as well or if it brings up questions or thoughts for you. Peace!

"One way or another we all at some point get hit in the face by a blast of wind, open our eyes, and see that we are not only on the bow of a colossal sailboat on an open sea, but that we’re the captain of the damned thing. Once you glimpse this fact of life, you have some choices. You can squeeze your eyes shut and make believe that you don’t have to take the wheel, you can run around flapping your arms and yelling “Somebody take the wheel, somebody take the wheel,” or you can take the wheel and learn to handle it.
If you settle down and trust the wind instead of fearing it, you’ll eventually become pretty good at sailing. You will find that while you don’t know what’s around the next cape, and while you may at times work up a soaking sweat trying to stay afloat in a nasty storm, all in all you can have a fine time sailing where you want to and occasionally you can drop anchor and bask in the sun. The breeze is always blowing, at least a bit, so keep your sails unfurled.
What you do with your life is up to you. It’s not up to your mom, your dad, your spouse, your pals, your coach, or your therapist. It’s all up to you. Just underneath the fear of being in command of your life is outrageous excitement about being in command of it. Best of all is the freedom – the freedom to lead your life your way, testing the waters on your won, getting your very own battle scars, and relishing your own rewards. You may hook up with a sidekick or two in this sea of life, but even those relationships will work best if each of you has a clear sense of ownership of your own life."

An Easter Psalm

2010-04-05T08:53:00.000-07:00

You restore me and refresh me, my God.
You call me out of the grave, restoring my soul,
Blowing your breath into me,
Calling me back to life and vibrance.
All the world around me is vibrating with
Your love.

When I quiet the fears and doubts churning
Inside me, when I let them go,
I begin to hum harmonically with those notes.
I participate in the eternal song of praise
And worship that all of creation is singing to You.

Who am I that You would sing your song
Through me?
Who am I that You would come into this
World and do your work through me?
I am unworthy, limited, small, and broken.
Sometimes I think you have the wrong guy.

But then the dawn breaks, your sun shines forth.
And all is new.
And I am new.
And you are real. And here. And alive!

Praise be to the GOD of heaven and earth!
All creation sings together, Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty.
Amen. Alleluia!

Seeds and Stems

2010-04-01T07:44:00.001-07:00

I was cleaning some grapes the other day and found myself complaining silently about the stems. “If only it weren’t for these stupid stems, this process would be much easier,” I said to myself. Then I thought, “It’s a good thing these are seedless grapes, because I hate seeds.” But wait, what about that? Where do they get the next generation of seedless grapes, anyway? But I digress.
I then realized that without the stems, there would be nothing attaching the grapes to the vine, so they wouldn’t be able to receive their nutrients. This holds true in life. No stems = no fruit. Likewise, without seeds, there would be no new growth or fruit in life. I don’t have to look far in my life to discover many “stems” - things that may not be very tasty but connect me to Life, and “seeds” - things that don’t bear fruit in my life in and of themselves, but with time, patience, and nurturing will grow into something much larger than themselves and bear fruit of their own. These aspects of life aren’t merely things to tolerate, they are necessary for life to be here in the first place. I’m learning to be thankful for these elements, both literal and figurative, recognizing that even these seemingly meaningless aspects of life still have a purpose in the big picture (of which I can only see a small corner). Engaging them with this attitude transforms my posture from one of defiance and resistance to an open, embracing one. It enables me to remain in a state of gratitude even while a seed gets stuck between my proverbial teeth.

Still Healing

2010-02-25T13:07:00.001-08:00

I had surgery to fix a deviated septum in December. The surgery went quite well, but it takes at least eight weeks to feel the full benefits of the procedure. I wanted to be sure I had patience with the process, so I put a reminder on my calendar so it would remind me, "Patience - still healing", twice a week. It really helped me remember to keep my expectations in check and not expect too much, too quickly.
Since then, that thought, "Patience - still healing", has come to mind when I find myself getting twisted up about something in my life being imperfect or just not the way I want it at the moment. There are so many areas which are still healing in my life. And, God willing, I'll continue to heal and grow so eventually the things that bother me today won't be such a big deal. I imagine there will be a whole new layer of challenges to overcome at that time. But I'm beginning to understand that the cycle of being stretched outside of my comfort zone, growing in the ways I'm being called to grow, and being stretched again is all part of the process of life. Without this process, it's easy to fall in to atrophy. Sure, it's painful, but the pain is directly proportional to my investment in my old ways of being or relating to the world. And the gifts that I receive when I embrace this process are way beyond my imagination.
So the next time you find yourself railing against any situation, just tell yourself, "Patience - still healing".

Giving Up

2010-02-04T13:22:00.000-08:00

We are programmed to never give up in this culture. "Keep striving, keep trying, don't give up!" is a common mantra. This is usually a good thing, since it's all too easy to short-change ourselves when we meet with obstacles of any time. However, the problem with this cultural habit is it makes it more difficult to give up things when it's time to let them go. We grasp on to things that are slipping through our fingers. If our circumstances are wresting control from us, it's likely that God has something greater in mind for us. But as long as we continue to grasp on desperately to the last vestiges of control, we make it impossible for God to fill up our arms with these blessings. So what if we took a different view of giving up? What if we saw giving up something that needs to go as an offering to God?

My friend Devon (www.divinecoach.com) defines surrender as "moving over to the winning side". Now that's a revolutionary view of giving up! With Lent approaching, maybe it's time to examine our lives (yes, me too) and ask, "What am I being called to give up today?".

All Cylinders vs. Fifth Gear

2010-01-22T12:31:00.001-08:00

I often use the term “hitting on all cylinders” to describe my ideal state of energy output. By this I mean I want to be fully engaged, not “missing out” on any potential value that I can add to the situations that I’m engaged in due to my “misfiring” on any front. I want to bring my A game as consistently and as often as I am able, regardless of the externals of any given situation.

I recently had sinus surgery to correct a deviated septum, and it threw me off this intention for a bit and prevented me from being as engaged as I usually am, and that was frustrating for a while. That is, until I thought more about this metaphor. I realized that just because an engine is working properly doesn’t mean that it’s running at full speed all the time. In fact, if you run an engine full-out for very long, it will break down. Everything (natural and man-made) needs the opportunity to recover from exertion or it won’t be able to perform for very long, and that includes humans. So I’m learning to give myself grace when there’s something about me or my situation that prevents me from running at full speed. Instead, I add the value I am able to add in the moment and try not to get hung up on whether what I’m adding is “enough”. All you can do is all you can do, and sometimes that’s not very much.

Conversely, being aware of which “gear” I’m in keeps me aware of my energy output and accountable for adding the value I’m able to add. If I’m only in second or third gear and there’s no external reason why, I can examine what’s going on inside of myself and stop any energy drains, which mostly appear as getting tied up in imagining the future or recollecting the past. It helps me to show up fully here, now instead of time travelling in my mind. Again, grace is a key element in this process, since judgment and condemnation never helped anyone accomplish anything.

Here’s to a year of full engagement, regardless of what gear you’re running in today.

Building Up My Self

2010-01-15T14:11:00.000-08:00

I often find myself having harsh emotional reactions to situations that are less than ideal. If everything doesn't go precisely to my plan, I tend to react with some pretty predictable emotional patterns. Here are the patterns I've noticed:

Denial - Ignoring situation altogether
Resistance - "I don't want to."
Rebellion - "I'm not going to."
Self-Pity - "Why do I have to?"
Resentment - "I shouldn't have to."
Procrastination - Delaying engaging situation

I think I recognized a root to these patterns. I think the root here is an exultation of self. It's the core belief that I am "above" or "beyond" whatever I'm going through in one way or another. I think we all know people that have made this posture a lifestyle and they bear the effects of that posture over time. Personally, I can twist in these patterns for hours or even days before setting them down. I'd like to get to a point where I notice these thought patterns and choose not to attach to them. I truly think that's possible.

The first step, of course, is awareness. The next step is seeing that I have a choice and can choose to exult my self or humble my self to my circumstances. If I choose the latter path, I begin to see what the situation has to teach me. It also helps me to simply accept any aspects of the situation I cannot change and puts me in a mode of action to change the aspects I am in charge of. I'm not saying it's fun, but it does transmute the situation into one that is bearable and even fruitful.

The Pain of Awareness

2010-01-07T14:13:00.000-08:00

When I began my meditation and prayer practice years ago, and as I continued to hone those skills and build my "presence muscles" through repeated contemplative practices, I always assumed at some level that the awareness I was cultivating would somehow make life all better. Now that I'm a few years into it, my awareness has grown greatly. I am aware of the fact that life is truly a miracle and a gift. I am aware of much more of the beauty and joy that surrounds me than I used to be. I'm actually "here, now" much of the time. It's great. But it's not all roses.
As my awareness has grown, I've also become aware of some destructive mental and emotional habits, of how I hurt others and sabotage myself, and how I react like a toddler when things don't go just my way. It's pretty sobering and humbling. Humiliating, actually. But as my awareness has grown, my ability to detach from these caustic patterns, to see other options, and to actually choose these healthier options in the moment has also grown. Awareness by itself doesn't make things better, it simply exposes the truth of the current reality. That reality is often more painful than we can bear, so we deceive ourselves and fall asleep. Contemplative practices act as a gradual alarm clock, helping us to awaken to whatever is in our lives, and simultaneously build the very "muscles" needed to change it when needed and appreciate it when it doesn't.

Please Participate In My Survey

2009-12-30T13:15:00.000-08:00

I am conducting a survey to help form a set of guided meditations. I'd love to get your input to help make them the best they can be. Please hit the link below and complete the survey. It will take fewer than 10 minutes. I really appreciate your time and effort! Peace, -art

http://survey.constantcontact.com/survey/a07e2o3wp2gg3rr6bs4/start

P.S. The survey will only be live through 1/8/10, so don't delay. Thanks again!

Headwinds and Tailwinds

2009-12-01T08:20:00.000-08:00

I ran outside last week. I run a course that’s 1.5 miles long. I simply run out and back for 3 miles total. On my way out, there didn’t seem to be any wind. It was just a calm morning. But when I got to the halfway mark and turned around, a stiff autumn wind blasted me in the face. The wind was there all along, but I didn’t notice it when it was at my back. It reminded me that the wind is always blowing, but we’re not always aware of it. More specifically, we’re not usually aware of the tailwinds--of the ways in which we are being supported and helped along in life. And when we’re met with headwinds, it’s tempting to buy into the lie that God is no longer present in those moments; that we’re all alone. But the truth is, He remains there, empowering us to run in the face of unreasonable obstacles. Take your steps of faith today, whatever that looks like for you. Be courageous. Defy your headwinds and keep running.

Essential Connections - Source

2009-11-16T12:54:00.000-08:00

I went to trim my sideburns the other day and when I turned on the trimmer, it didn’t turn on. I opened the battery compartment and jiggled the batteries, then replaced the cover and it worked great. The batteries had power, but without the connection to the trimmer, it couldn’t move. It reminded me that when we lose touch with our Source, we lose power. I call my Source “God”. God created us, and “in him we live and move and have our being” (Acts 17:28). In other words, without God, we literally wouldn’t exist in the first place. We have no power to draw a breath or utter a word apart from the grace of God. It’s a humbling reality, but also quite profound. This also means that God is intimately invested in each one of us, knows us perfectly, and has the ability to give us precisely what we need in order to step in to the full life He promises.
In our culture, it’s so easy to run our own race apart from God. But without consciously connecting back with the One who made us, we tire out so quickly. So I try to take some time each day to connect with God consciously, through prayer, meditation, walks outside, or just by enjoying my connections with those around me. When was the last time you stopped and really connected with your Source (regardless of how you name it)? Wouldn’t now be a good time to do that?

Essential Connections - Others

2009-09-08T14:25:00.000-07:00

There is a theory which I ascribe to that states that our relationships with others actually becomes a part of who we are individually (this is Willard's social dimension of the self in "Renovation of the Heart"). Take a moment and think about all the people you talk to every day. It's pretty mind blowing if you step back and consider the hundreds of interactions you have each day. Some of them may be quick and fleeting, others quite involved. It's the kind of thing that can easily slip below the surface. We fall into conditioned patterns of behavior in our interactions instead of seeing a human life in front of us and honoring it as such.
So after I meet you on the street or in a store, I carry a bit of you with me, and a bit of me goes with you. What I really love about this is it breaks down the illusion of our separateness and reminds us that we really are all mostly the same. It challenges me to care for our relationship as part of my self, since in one sense it's true. It also reminds me of the interdependency that we are called to as part of the body of Christ on earth. Alone, each of us is vulnerable, but together we are strong. "Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." (Ecc. 4:12) We make up for each other's weaknesses and blind spots, and show each other our true glory and strength.
Think about this theory over the next few days. How does this idea change the way you interact with the people you come across in your day? How do you depend on others? How do they depend on you? If it is the sum of all the relationships you have in your life, what is the state of your social "self"?

Essential Connections - Will

2009-06-30T12:44:00.000-07:00

The human will is the most precious gift ever bestowed on humanity. According to Dallas Willard in his book “Renovation of the Heart”, the purpose of our will is to be the executive center of our selves. It is intended to serve as the place where our decisions get made. He also refers to it as the heart or spirit. Think of the will as the part of you that’s in charge (on your better days at least).

One way to monitor the state of your will is to pay attention to your attitude or posture. Attitude and posture are two very closely related words that relate to how we show up in the world. When you wake up, what is the first thought in your mind? Is it one of dread, fear, or guilt? Or is it full of hope, joy, and gratitude? These thought patterns are another habit that actually can be influenced greatly by your attitude. We have the ability to focus on whatever we want to in our lives, and to interpret our experiences in any way we choose. So you can train yourself to look for the good in every situation and to pay attention to the beauty and joy that surrounds you. Yes, I know that there is also plenty of pain, evil, and struggle in this world. I’m not denying their existence. But there are also an abundance of free gifts that we all get to partake in simply because we are alive. And being grateful for the gifts you have in your life already will help you build the strength of will needed to face the dark and difficult areas of life.

What happens when our will gets misused? A major issue occurs when we attach our will to any other functional part of our selves, or worse yet, our experiences. This can happen so gradually and subtly that it’s hard to know that it’s happening until you find yourself trapped or facing a set of choices, none of which seem appealing. The example I’ll use here is attaching our will to our emotions, since I’m a bit of an expert on that one. This habit moves our emotions to the center, and drags the rest of us along with them. I don’t have to tell you that emotions are fleeting. If you’re a human, you have experienced strong emotions and mood swings. The fact that emotions are temporal and intense isn’t necessarily bad. Emotions serve a great purpose in our lives. They help bring texture and color to life. The problem comes when we put them in the driver’s seat. They tend to run us right into the nearest tree. Ouch.

How do you know if your will is strong? The best way to monitor the strength of your will is to simply pay attention to your decision making. Do you do what you say you’re going to do? This applies to what you say to others and what you say to yourself. If you follow through on your commitments, your will is strong. If not, then your will needs work. The good news is we can exercise it like any other part of our selves. How do we exercise our will? By making decisions. To practice exercising your will, take yourself off autopilot for a time and pay attention to the kinds of decisions you usually make automatically. Then you can decide consciously if you want to continue to make those decisions in that way or not. If you want to change those patterns, you can create new habits to change your “default setting”. It takes time and effort, but it IS possible to change these habits. Keep working at it, you are worth it!

Essential Connections-Thoughts and Emotions

2009-06-10T12:47:00.000-07:00

Another functional part of yourself that it’s important to connect with on a daily basis is your mind. There are two main ways you interact with your mind, through your thoughts and emotions.

Thoughts - If you don’t monitor your thoughts, it’s easy to let them run away with you, color your experience, and define you. We don’t operate directly on the world, but on maps of reality that we create in our heads. There’s simply too much data to be aware of simultaneously, so everyone deletes major portions of their experience to cope with life mentally. The parts that you keep hold of form maps of what “reality” is like for you. There is an objective reality “out there”, but no human has ever operated in it (OK, excluding Jesus).

Do you want to know what your map of reality is like? Monitor your thoughts. Your thoughts are mirrors on the maps of reality in your head. They reveal the assumptions, paradigms, and focus areas of your mental habits. Are your thoughts filled with negativity and judgment, or positive messages and grace? If you don’t like the answer you provided to that question, you can change your mental maps.

Neuroscience has recently named a phenomenon called “neuroplasticity”, which is a fancy term for a simple reality; that is, that the mind is always changing, regardless of age. It turns out you CAN teach an old dog new tricks. All it really takes is enough energy (usually emotional, see below) and some knowledge about how the mind works to reshape the maps in your head. If you’re like most people, though, you’ll probably need the help of a professional coach or counselor (or at least a trusted friend who will call you out when they smell your B.S.) to do so.

Emotions- Thoughts and emotions are so intertwined that you can scarcely write about one without mentioning the other. There is some debate about what comes first, but either way we know that thoughts and emotions fuel each other and work together (for good or ill) in our minds. The next time you are experiencing strong emotions, notice the thoughts that are going through your head. Where are they coming from? I’m not sure exactly, but I do know that your mental habits have a direct and powerful effect on what you feel. Don’t get me wrong - I’m not saying we shouldn’t feel strong emotions. Emotions are meant to be felt, so denying that they are there is unhealthy and going against how we are designed. The only unhealthy emotion is the unexpressed emotion.

We also learn from science that energy is not created or destroyed, it just changes form. So when we have unexpressed emotions, they don’t go anywhere. When we access them after being disconnected from them, we will likely feel waves of emotion that are out of balance with the current stimulus. The deeper the level of emotion, the stronger it will come out when tapped back into. But if we remain with them, allowing them to be felt and processed, pretty soon they will subside to normal levels.

Also, emotions are real but not necessarily true. When you’re feeling badly, it’s tough to see that life will ever be different from how you are experiencing in the moment. But the truth is, if we don’t latch onto and identify with our emotions, but let them flow through us naturally, they will subside on their own. The problem comes when you identify with something as transient as emotions, you put yourself on a roller coaster ride that isn’t that much fun after a while.

Like mental habits, we also have emotional habits. We have the freedom to interpret any experience in any way we wish. In other words, meaning is experience-agnostic. But as you learn to identify a certain set of stimuli to mean something, it becomes rather difficult to change what that stimuli means to you on a low level, subconscious/emotional level.

Again, these habits can be changed but in order to get the most bang for your buck, work with an expert in the field - a coach or counselor - to change the meaning of your experiences into useful drivers of positive change.

Next up: Will

Essential Connections-Diet and Exercise

2009-06-08T12:33:00.000-07:00

Another key connection point every day is our bodies. We take our bodies for granted much of the time; that is, until they break down. But just like a car, the daily care that you give your body largely determines how it will perform in the long run.

Specifically, what you put into your body (the “fuel”, if you will) is very important. You wouldn’t expect a high performance car to run on low quality fuel. The same holds for your body. So be aware of what you feed your body and how you engage it every day. Three areas to call out are water, food, and exercise.

Water: The first area to highlight here is water intake. Most people are chronically dehydrated. Try to keep a water bottle with you and track how much water you are drinking every day. Most adults needs 64 oz. at a minimum. This doesn’t take into account water lost through sweat due to exercise (see below for more on exercise). So drink, drink, drink - it’s nearly impossible to get too much water.

Food: Secondly, the food you take in has a direct and cumulative effect on your body. Get 5-7 servings of fruits and vegetables every day. Trust me, I know this is difficult. I don’t usually achieve that goal. But hey, trying and falling short is better than not having a goal. Also limit your fat and sugar intake.

Exercise: Another great way to connect with your body is to get some sort of physical exercise each day. I’m not talking about running 10 miles or training for a triathlon. But do try to get 20-30 minutes of activity every day at a minimum. Personally, I like to get my workout done in the morning. It helps to kick my day off right and get my metabolism jump-started. I know this doesn't work for everyone’s schedules, but regardless of what time of day, it’s best to work out at the same time each day so your body gets used to it.

I know you already know all this stuff. Heck, I’m writing the post and I don’t do all of this consistently. But again, having a goal to aspire to is a good thing. It stretches you and gets you out of your comfort zone.

Need I remind you that this is the only body you get in this life? Yep, I’m sorry to break it to you. So take care of yourself. It’s your job, not anyone else’s.

Next up: Connecting with your mind and emotions.

Essential Connections-Rest

2009-06-02T11:59:00.000-07:00

The need for rest and renewal is one of the most fundamental needs we have as humans. If you haven’t noticed, it’s not possible to run at a breakneck pace ad infinitum. In our society of 24 hour drive thru’s and all night infomercials, it’s sometimes tough to remember that we really need downtime each day. And I’m not just talking about resting from physical activity, but mental activity as well. It’s all too easy to stop moving physically, but remain engaged mentally. This arrhythmic approach to life is doomed to failure. Sooner or later, you will have an “accident”, sickness, or other crisis that will force you to slow the heck down a little bit.

So instead, why not build some rhythms of disengagement and rest into your day? The first thing to monitor is your sleep. Most adults need six hours of interrupted sleep at a bare minimum, and many of us need much more than that. Just as important as quantity is quality. One way to ensure high quality sleep is to have a consistent bedtime and waking time. This is easier said than done, but very important. You should also stop drinking water about two hours before bedtime to minimize the midnight potty runs. Also beware of reading and watching TV in bed. These activities can confuse your brain, sending it signals to wake up instead of signaling it to sleep. There are many resources online for many tips on quality sleep in addition to these.

During the day, have set times when you disengage from whatever you are doing, and clear your head. If you work at a desk, walk around and visualize setting down everything you are carrying in your mind. I try to get outside a couple of times a day at least to connect with nature (more on connecting with nature in an upcoming post). For me, lunchtime is sacred as well. I try to have a book with me so I can shift gears away from work and renew my mind a bit. It also helps to break up the day and helps me gather the energy needed to accomplish my afternoon goals. If I’m feeling really tired or worn down, I take some time over lunch to listen to a guided meditation. Meditation is cool because, once you get good at it, you can shift your brain into a slower, rejuvenating brain wave cycle that has the same positive effects of sleep; it just happens more quickly.

Bottom line, honoring your body’s need for rest and renewal is one of the most fundamentally caring things you can do for yourself. It may take going against the grain and creating some new habits, but I think you’ll find the positive benefits of healthy rest habits are well worth the effort.

Self Absorption

2009-06-01T13:19:00.001-07:00

I busted myself last week trying desperately to gain a sense of peace by managing my external circumstances instead of managing my internal state. As long as everything was perfectly calm around me, I gave myself permission to be at peace. But as soon as anything went contrary to how I had envisioned it, I allowed it to disturb me.
Once I realized what I was doing, I also realized how silly it was to try to gain peace of mind this way. This approach puts us at the mercy of our circumstances. It is like focusing on the surface of the water and trying to keep it still in order to catch a reflection of the sky. All the while, we can simply raise our eyes heavenward and see the sky directly. There's no need for the surface of the water to be still as a prerequisite.
God doesn't promise a life with no tension or storms, but rather an Eternal Presence in the midst of those difficulties. Just lift your gaze beyond yourself and you will be amazed at the peace and clarity God will provide even in the midst of incredible difficulties.

Essential Connections

2009-06-01T13:10:00.001-07:00

A person's quality of life really boils down to relationships. Not only relationships with other people, which are key, but relationships with other things such as our own minds, bodies, emotions, and spirits; relationships with God, nature, food, and money. How do we ensure we have good relationships with these elements in our lives? Each of these relationships needs to be maintained through intentional connections on a regular (daily) basis. There are fundamental practices in which we can engage to ensure healthy connections in our lives. Over the next few entries, I'm going to take some time to expound on some of the most important of these connections in my mind. I promise it won't take months to get through the series! =-]

Sufjan Stevens

2009-04-12T13:39:00.000-07:00

I just created a Sufjan Stevens station on www.pandora.com . Just sitting here listening to his music and the likes of Iron & Wine (another perennial favorite), I felt compelled to sing his praises a bit. What is it about his music that elicits such deep, consistent feelings of peace and well being in me? It's nuts. It's a very consistent experience for me. It's an amazing experience, not like listening to music at all. It's actually a whole lot more like worship than anything. My soul nods to the Creator of the Universe, thanks Him for being there and for creating me, and relaxes its grip on the things slipping through its fingers for a moment. When I listen to Sufjan, it's as if all is well in the world. All is rightly ordered, God is in control, and I am safe. And this despite any of the crap I am dealing with in my current life situation.

I am just amazed at people who are so musically talented that they have the ability to draw out this unspoken message from inside other people. I wonder if it's an intentional thing, or merely a side effect of someone in his or her bliss, expressing the deep reality of who they are that speaks to others in such a powerful way? Either way, I don't care. I'll take it as a free gift of this amazing, puzzling, and sometimes maddening life we have here. Thank you, Lord, for Sufjan Stevens.

Cars, Planes, and Rocket Ships

2009-02-25T13:23:00.000-08:00

I find myself in an extended season of preparation. I have a tendency to get frustrated because developments in my life aren't happening "quickly enough". But when I think about the difference between taking a trip in a car, a plane, or a rocket ship, my perspective shifts. What the heck to I mean by that? I'm glad you asked!
In order to get a driver's license, you study and practice for a few months. You then are able to cover a lot more ground than you would be able to on your own.
Learning how to be a pilot is a different matter. It takes years of dedication and training before you can be qualified to be a pilot. But once you're trained, you can hop in a plane and travel literally across the world in the time it would take a car to drive halfway across the country. And planes have fewer limitations than cars do. They aren't bound by land, for instance.
Finally, astronauts train THEIR ENTIRE LIVES for one or maybe two missions, but the trip is out of this world.
So, when I consider that I may be in "training" for a rocket ship mission, not just a Sunday drive, that helps calm me and steel my resolve, which helps me continue to learn what I need to learn today, to take today's step, and let the rest of the steps take themselves at the right time.

The Dirty Windshield

2009-02-10T13:49:00.000-08:00

I was driving to work the other day and there was a lot of road grime being kicked up from the other cars on the road onto my windshield. It quickly formed a film that made it difficult to see and navigate safely. When I tried to wash the windshield, I found my washers were frozen and weren't able to spray any washer fluid on the windshield. So instead of helping the situation, my attempts at cleaning the windshield actually made it worse.

This reminded me of my prayer life at times. The stressors and difficulties of life sometimes collect on me and make it difficult to see accurately and make prudent and productive decisions. I don't see what's beyond the current situation, but begin to believe that what I'm seeing is actually "reality", not a skewed, impaired view. Prayer is like the washer. When we pray, we're able to reconnect with Reality and allow God to wash us clean of all the leftover emotions and mental and physical effects of stress.

But sometimes, I am not in a place where I can actually connect with God. Trying to pray at times like this is like trying to wash my windshield with frozen washers: I don't actually gain in God's perspective, and sometimes make things worse by coming up with my own solutions to my problems or issues. The best prayer I can say at these times is a prayer to help me stop trying to fix the situation and allow God to work through it in His time and His way. This requires patience and faith, two things which don't come naturally. But often, once I give up trying to fix myself, I find my perspective is expanded (my washers are unfrozen), and God shows up in an unexpected and refreshing way.

Life Begins Here, Now

2008-12-08T14:32:00.000-08:00

I was pretty busy on Saturday. We were making preparations for Christmas. I brought up the decorations from the basement, including the outdoor lights which I hang on our home each year. It's no small feat. Including checking the bulbs, placing the hangers on the gutter to planning where I am going to place the lights, and then actually climbing up and down the ladder, it takes a couple of hours all told.
I found myself thinking, "I'll be glad when this is all done." I had to stop myself. Why not be glad now? What was delaying my joy? Wasn't I decorating my house in preparation for Christ's birth, after all? And wasn't the sweat and soreness worth the end result?
My answer to those questions was a shift in my posture to one of gratitude and simple surrender to the moment. It enabled me to be patient, taking a systematic approach to the process. I was met with an unexpected buoyancy in my spirit and a spring in my step. In other words, I actually enjoyed the "drudgery" of the chore, and was able to really begin celebrating Christmas through it.
This started me thinking about all the myriad ways in which I delay joy in my life. "If only I had/was X, THEN I'd be happy" and "When X happens, THEN I'll be happy" are common refrains in my brain. But life isn't something that happens once we get everything set just the way we want it. It's happening all around us, at all times. It's up to us to wake up and be present in the moments of life that are passing us by. It's also about waking up to the incredible treasures and gifts we hold in our hands and are given freely every day. Life truly is a miracle. Perhaps if we accepted each day as a miracle and every moment as an opportunity to live in and spread Light, our joy would emerge from us as naturally as our breath.

Moving Forward

2008-10-31T12:42:00.000-07:00

Have you ever left your house without your keys? You walk to the car and realize your keys are in the house. At that point, you need to go back in and get them, or you won’t get very far. Sure, you could just walk, but that tiny little resource (a key) is worth going back in your daily journey to pick up so you can apply it in the proper context (your car) and move down the road at a much greater rate.

I think maybe we’ve placed too much emphasis in this culture on moving forward, continually growing, developing, and evolving. Doubtless that is the intention of the overall arch of our lives – to grow and become more of what God intends for us. But I think backwards movement along the path isn’t necessarily negative. It’s just often painful and difficult, because when I recognize the landscape as being familiar, I take that as a cue to be disappointed, upset, guilty, or angry. But it’s often necessary for us to go back over old ground in our lives to pick up things we didn’t learn the first (or second, or third) time. It’s not a judgment against me or a failure – it’s simply where I am on the journey.

In my mission statement, I wrote that I believe you are always moving forward or moving backward, and to always move forward, I do certain things. But I’m starting to realize that maybe I should cut myself (and others) slack when I see myself moving backward. Perhaps I’m going back to pick up a key I missed the first time.

Chunky!

2008-09-27T10:15:00.000-07:00

I had a really hard day the other day. It wasn't because I had a lot of work to do. In fact, my workload wasn't that overwhelming at all. The problem was I didn't want to anything. My attitude stunk. I ended up talking with friends and procrastinating all morning long. I didn't get a thing accomplished in the morning. But the most incredible thing happened-at lunch, I prayed that God would help me reset my attitude and jump into my work in the afternoon. I was able to let go of the temper tantrum that had gripped me in the morning and actually had a very productive afternoon.

This made me think of how our days are less like a neatly arranged plate of food and more like a bowl of stew. If we're open to it, new emotions, motivations, and interpretations of our experiences will meet us in unexpected ways. But I think God enjoys showing up in the context of real life vs. in a planned church program or other compartmentalized experience. Like a bowl of stew, we may be be surprised by the chunks we eat in a day. We may dine on the spiritual equivalent of vegetables one day, and the next day chewing on chunks of meat (harder to chew, but much more nourishing). But usually, it will be both. It's up to us to really be present to taste our experience and enjoy it if possible.

I tend to want to break life apart and compartmentalize and reduce it so I can have control over it and reduce my spiritual "risk". Unfortunately, life is not compartmentalized and neatly arranged. Life is a mess. Joy, love, happiness, pain, sadness, stress - they are all thrown into the same pot for us to eat. If you feel you have complete understanding of something, it's either not living/inert, a reduction or facsimile of the truth, or you are mistaken. We can apprehend life, but we cannot comprehend it fully. To believe otherwise it to be disillusioned and set up for a painful fall as we are humbled by the Creator and put in our place as His creation.

What things do you reduce and break apart to gain control over? What fear are you dampening through this activity? What blessings are you missing by dwelling on the "chunks" of life that you don't want to "eat"?

Hard Questions

2008-09-20T12:49:00.000-07:00

I learned of a tragedy last week that had the potential to shake my faith. A friend of a friend who had been struggling in many areas of life committed suicide by cop a couple of weeks ago. This was disturbing on many levels, since this man was a Christ follower and had prayed with my friend just days before for God's help in his situation. It brought up all kinds of questions for me about just who God is and a lot of "why" questions. If God is in control, how can evil be allowed in this world? Why does crap like this happen? Why do good people die? Where is God's justice in this world? Where is his Spirit, his presence? Where was God when this guy was losing his mind and his life?

These are tricky questions and ones without concrete answers. It's some solace to me that they've been asked of God since biblical times - many Psalms and the book of Job pose these same queries to God. And though I haven't received many solid answers since this happened, I did have a very helpful experience last Monday. I had a short coaching session with an acquaintance in which I was the client. I brought up these tough issues. Turns out, she had been trained as a pastor (coincidence?), and was quite skilled at listening to me "pour out my lament" without judging or trying to provide answers. I learned quite a bit in that session, including:

God does not prevent us from feeling pain as his followers. What he does is infuse the pain with the possibility of his presence.
We are called to rely on God, not on pat answers or formulas, or on how God has shown up in past situations. There is a part of me that would much rather create an answer sheet based on what I've seen and experienced from God in the past and disengage from living life with God. That is obviously contrary to the life we are called to - a full, eternal life that begins now as we walk with God every day and allow him to stretch and reform us in his image.
Relying on the gifts God brings into our lives vs. God is also futile. This one is quite tricky, since human nature is always searching for a substitute for God. What better to fill the role than the gifts he provides? Of course, all things that are visible are temporary. Any time we're misaligned and worshiping God's creations, the rug will surely be pulled out from under us.
In spite of my not knowing, God still acts. I don't have to have all the answers. It's not all up to me. I am a part of God's story, not the other way around.
All efforts to construct limits for God will be blown apart. I always thought my image of God was always being challenged and broken apart so that a larger image of God could be created. The problem is, any image we create of God in our minds and hearts is inadequate. God is alive and wild. He cannot be caged, boxed in, or understood completely. We must relate to God as a Person, because he is. We're actually called to a relationship.

Even as I type, I know I will need to be continually reminded of these realities, which is part of the reason I'm blogging about them. These aren't the kinds of paradigm shifts one makes in a day or a week. I have gained a lot from asking these questions and realizing that God is here with us in our darkness and pain, even when we can't sense him and when all evidence around us is contrary to that truth. That's where faith comes in - believing something that flies in the face of worldly evidence.

Power vs. Control

2008-09-02T17:40:00.000-07:00

I recently figured something out that has sweeping implications for me. I realized that there is a big difference between "power" and "control". Power is defined as the ability to act or accomplish something. Control, on the other hand, is focused around dominating or exercising restraint or command over something.

As human beings, we are imbued with an incredible amount of power. We have power beyond our understanding and imagination. The vast majority of our power is never tapped consciously. Instead, we often end up as victims of our own subconscious as it feeds back to us unconscious beliefs, fears, and hangups that we have fed it all our lives. One of the keys to fulfillment is to look into these dark areas and bring the lies and limitations that usually remain hidden to light.

By contrast, we have control over very little in our lives. We cannot control the economic or family situation we are born into, or the wounds and limitations of our families. We cannot control the weather or what obstacles we may encounter each day. We can only control our attitudes and responses to what life throws at us. And since most of us don't understand how to do this in a conscious way, we don't even take control over the precious little that we have domain over in our lives.

Why is this distinction so important? I have often gotten the two confused, to my detriment. I have a pattern of getting really excited about something new in my life and attempting to seize control of it until I choke all the life and fun out of it, then disengaging completely, moving on to a new area of focus. This usually happens in areas in which I have a natural talent. I get excited about how much power I can bring to a challenge, and I want to control all aspects of the area - how, when, and how often I get to express my power. But since I don't have domain over that, I end up being frustrated that things aren't happening just as I'd have them happen, and I often give up.

Coaching was like this for me. I got so excited last year when I learned about coaching and how natural it was for me. I knew down deep that I had discovered a key vocational expression for myself. After I earned my certification, I thought clients would simply pour in to my practice without my having to lift a finger. This didn't happen, of course. When it didn't happen like I wanted it to, I stopped all my efforts to learn and express the craft of coaching and my coaching "muscles" fell into atrophy. It wasn't until November that I realized I had fallen into this pattern and got engaged again in the pursuit of coaching mastery.

I think this distinction is especially crucial for Christians. As followers of Christ, we hear so often that we are to surrender to God and to God's will for our lives. But too often, I think we stop exercising the most precious gift in the world - that of the human will. The power of the human will cannot be overestimated. Just witness the people who, through sheer human determination (will) accomplish amazing feats, even without a conscious understanding of who God is or a conscious relationship with Him (I say "conscious relationship" because we all have a relationship to God, but sometimes we don't acknowledge it). But God's will for us is to have a full, vibrant, dynamic life. In order to have this life he wants for us, we need to exercise our will. We need to figure out what it is we really want and go for it. We need to dream, take chances, strive, and fail. We need to come to the end of ourselves so we can recognize our abject need for His strength. To me, a big part of surrender is surrendering my right to be lazy, to give up easily in the face of obstacles. If we can do all things through Him who strengthens us, we have no excuse to be defeated by this world's challenges. We just have to rely on God to supply the strength that we cannot muster in crucial moments.

The Patchwork Quilt

2008-08-09T18:22:00.001-07:00

Well, after a very busy July, I'm back on the blogging circuit. I'm looking forward to a return to normalcy, along with some of my normal rhythms and habits.

A friend of mine spoke of life recently as a patchwork quilt. Apparently, when you are quilting, you can't go back and undo an earlier patch in the quilt without tearing apart the whole thing. She said she looks back on life in much the same way - many times, we have episodes ("patches") in our lives that are painful or that seem to have no purpose at the time. However, when we look back on the whole of our lives, they wouldn't be what they are - we wouldn't be what we are - without those patches. And we can't remove them; they are as much an integral part of the whole picture as the joyful and pleasurable parts of life.

This resonated with me so deeply since I tend to want to minimize or ignore those ugly patches in my life. But when I sit and survey my life, it's clear to me that I learned more about myself, about the loved ones in my life, and about God in those painful episodes that I ever have basking in His light. I honestly wish it wasn't this way, but it seems God uses those times when we are most challenged to do His greatest work.

What patches are there in your life that you tend to ignore or minimize? How did God use those patches to teach you about Him and about yourself? If you are in a tough patch now, can you open yourself to the possibility of learning and growing at this time?

The Dentist Chair

2008-06-25T16:13:00.000-07:00

I went to the dentist for the first time in a while last week. OK, it has been at least two and maybe three years since I last had a six-month checkup. As a result, it was a very long and quite painful visit. After taking a completely new set of x-rays, the dental hygienist proceeded to scrape, scrape, and scrape some more. Then the dentist came in and diagnosed three cavities. So much for "out of sight, out of mind". I certainly paid the price for ignoring my dental maintenance.

There are many areas like this in life that don't require much energy to maintain. The problem is, that also makes it easier to ignore things we know we should be doing. The result is always the same: pain and expense. If we don't maintain our cars, expensive repairs result. In relationships, it's easy to ignore the little warning signs our partners give out that they are unhappy, only to be confronted with emotions that seem to be "out of the blue" or worse, a "Dear John" letter. The body is another area that will only be ignored so long before it turns up the volume on us in the form of disease or injury.

The traditional Christian response to pain of this sort is that we have sinned and are being punished for our sins. I don't think that is the case here. Rather, the pain and suffering are natural consequences of inaction. It's completely predictable. We have the ability to live in concert with universal truths or against them. But sooner or later, we have to pay the piper. Richard Rohr has said that growth only occurs through great love or great pain. I must admit, like most of us, I usually fall into the latter category before growth occurs in my life.

I know there are other "dentist chairs" that I am avoiding in my life. How about you? What areas do you know you should be paying attention to that you are simply ignoring? What are the natural consequences of continuing to ignore that area? What are some simple steps you can take today to address this area?

Still Life?

2008-06-21T07:35:00.000-07:00

I was looking at a very nice painting the other day of some apples and cherries, a classic example of "still life". That started me thinking - the term "still life" is an oxymoron. Everything that is alive is always moving, even if only at the molecular level. This makes it impossible to pin down. Its dynamic aspect forces us to constantly change, adapt, and grow if we are to remain engaged with life. It's so tempting to cut aspects of life off or break them down to their piece parts so we can gain control over them and understand them completely. But when we do either of these things, the very element that drew us in - life itself - is gone, and the beautiful thing we hold in our hands withers and dies.

I can speak with authority on this subject because I am guilty of this error. In fact, this tendency reared its ugly head in my recent quest to earn my coaching certification. I found myself thirsty to learn all about coaching practices while in pursuit of my certification. Yet, once I achieved certification, there was a part of me that thought, "Whew, I can cross that one off the list", and I disengaged from the learning process. I was no longer on the master's journey. Instead, I was in danger of what Thomas Leonard calls a "dabbler" in his brilliant book, Mastery. According to Leonard, a dabbler is someone who is constantly chasing the newness and novelty of the latest shiny thing attracting their attention. But once the newness has worn off and reality sets in, they are off to the next thing.

Ouch. I realized I had been guilty of this very pattern, and faced a decision. Would I discard all I had learned and jump to a new practice, or get back on the path of mastery around my coaching practice? I chose to re-engage the learning process. This involved seeing my certification as a beginning point, not an ending. Sure, it's nice to have it, but without regular practice of those skills, I might as well not even have it. Said another way, I re-engaged the life in the coaching masteries. The shine has now worn off and I've been through a couple of plateaus. I now realize that this process is lifelong. Indeed, the master's journey never ends. There's always more to discover and learn, as long as we stay engaged in life.

Redwoods

2008-06-17T17:18:00.000-07:00

My chiropractor just got back from Northern California, where she visited the redwoods. She was blown away by how massive they are. They grow up to 360 feet, or about as high as a thirty-story building. She said the canopy blocks out the sunlight when you're in the forest so you forget that it's a sunny day until you walk out from underneath it.

But what was most amazing to me is what she shared about the root systems of these giant trees. A redwood's roots only grow eight feet underground. It seems a root system that is that shallow would not be able to support the massive weight of a giant tree such as a redwood. But what is unique is that the roots grow outward, spreading for acres and intertwining with the other redwoods in the forest. It is this combined strength that gives them the support needed to weather storms they would be unable to survive alone. The parallel to humans is obvious: we are also able to withstand so much more if our roots are intertwined with others.

In fact, this anecdote reminds me of the human system model that Dallas Willard proposes is his brilliant work, "Renovation of the Heart". In it, he includes the social aspect of ourselves as part of the model. That is, our relationships with others is actually a part of who we are. As he puts it, "The natural condition of life for human beings is one of reciprocal rootedness in others." I in you and you in me, abiding with one another through thick and thin. It is not possible to go through this world alone, though it is possible to live under the illusion of aloneness. Sometimes we just need to be reminded of those that we share roots with, and of the need for these connections.

This need for relationship points us back to the relationship of the Trinity, reminding us that even within the Godhead, there is relationship. Relationship is a universal state, one that predated even the creation of the world. The fact that we are drawn to participate in relationships as a matter of living life fully points us back to this reality. It's another beautiful example of how this universe is fashioned to constantly mirror and reveal God. Humbling, ain't it?

Today Is A Beginning

2008-06-14T10:04:00.000-07:00

Each day is also a beginning. This morning is a starting point. Endless opportunities expand before us. You know, it doesn't matter how deep we feel we're going in life or how enlightened we become. We're actually just scratching the surface. How can you tell if you're just scratching the surface of life? Take a moment and check to see if you're still alive. If so, then you've only just begun. Yes, I mean even if you're 85, retired with great-grandkids. You're alive for a reason. God still has more for you in mind - more to experience, be, become, express, drink in, and give to others. What beginnings do you have in front of you? How are you being renewed today in your mind, your body, and your heart? What seeds would you like to sow today?

A wise friend recently told me that we don't have to worry about changing the world. Simply by being alive we change the world a little each day. The question is not, "Do I want to change the world?", but rather, "How am I changing the world?". Are you making the world a more peaceful, loving place or bringing more hatred and pain by your presence? Are you healing yourself and others or wounding? Are you expressing your true self or stifling it?

Today Is An Ending

2008-06-10T18:27:00.000-07:00

Today is an ending of sorts. The experiences you had today are in large part a result of what you habitually focus on and cultivate. As you stand in the garden of your life, what do you see? Are there towering trees that provide shade and fruit and beautiful flowers? Or have weeds taken over? The trees and flowers are the intentional practices and the positive, life-giving aspects of life that you focus on. The weeds are the things that crop up when we're not paying attention. If you're like most people, you probably have both elements. Like tending a garden, it takes regular, repeated effort to remove the weeds and water the trees. As the Chinese proverb states, the best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago, and the second best time is now. What tree can you plant today that will provide you shade and protection in twenty years?

Driving the Space Shuttle Down the Street

2008-06-07T09:10:00.000-07:00

I hear the term "will power" thrown around quite a bit. It usually comes up when people relate their latest failure in doing something they wanted to do. "I just don't have the will power", is a common refrain. When most people refer to their "will power", I don't think they're actually referring to the power of their human will (aka spirit or heart). Our will is designed to be the place where decisions are made for the rest of our selves. It's supposed to be in charge. But most of us don't navigate life by our will; instead, we navigate by emotions, thoughts, or by our bodily urges.

The problem with going through life this way is that our will ends up at the end of the line, pulled around by the other parts of ourselves instead of leading them. These other components have a fleeting, unpredictable nature. This means that whenever we're navigating life by one of them instead of our will, we will of course be on a roller coaster in our lives instead of walking on a wide plateau of stability.

I must confess that I have spent much of my life navigating life by my emotions. In fact, I recently realized that I have identified with my emotional state for much of my life. In other words, I have equated my emotional state to who I am as a person. This put incredible pressure on myself to monitor and manage my emotions. If I was feeling less than ideal, I would do all I could to stamp out that emotional state or change it as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, this meant that I was often short-changing myself in my emotional life by not allowing my emotions to be present or to allowing them to be processed naturally.
I now realize (through a painful process of self-discovery) that I am not my emotions. Rather, my emotions come and go, but they don't affect my true self, or heart (spirit/will).

We often complain that we don't enough power to change the things we want to in our lives. The simile that I sprang to mind around this idea was this: navigating life by our emotions (or any other component) instead of our will is like trying to drive the space shuttle down the street and then complaining that we can't navigate it properly. The space shuttle is not designed to drive down the street, it's designed to go into space. Likewise, the human will is actually designed with power to do things beyond our wildest dreams. But we relegate it to tasks it wasn't designed for, and put it out of order. The result is frustration and failure. But putting our will in the center and navigating by it is like lighting those boosters - it unleashes a level of power so immense that it will carry us right beyond our barriers into the stratosphere of our lives, where anything is possible and there's nothing holding us back.

In and Out

2008-06-03T18:30:00.000-07:00

Language is so interesting. What we call "expressions" do just that - they express deeper or underlying truths about how we understand or relate to reality. Think about the way we use the word "out" in various expressions. We work things out, act out, give out (good or bad vibes), make out, hug it out, bring things out (into the open), we go out, figure it out, people are regularly "outed". These expressions usually relate to the release or revelation of a secret or energy, or of resolution of a dissonance.

Of course, the opposite word, "in", has just as many related expressions. We are hemmed in, boxed in, shut in, the walls close in, our guts are sucked in. These expressions usually relate to invisible things - thoughts, feelings, fears, emotions, judgements, motivations. The underlying idea here is that there is something "in" that is begging to come "out". Something hidden that is revealed. I think we try to hide things from ourselves, and from God. But whether consciously or unconsciously, fun or painful, all things come out, all things are revealed.

Jesus even talked about this in Mark 4:22, "For whatever is hidden is meant to be disclosed, and whatever is concealed is meant to be brought out into the open." So often this world reflects truths into our lives on a small scale that are true on a large scale. I believe that's how God constructed our world - to be a reflection of and point back to Himself. So if that's true, it's quite a realization-that there's no such thing as a secret, and we can only deceive ourselves for a short period of time before the truth comes "out".

What secrets are you keeping from others in your life (not just "bad" things, but what glorious things are you keeping in)? What secrets are you keeping from yourself? What things are you keeping in that are dying to get out? What would you be risking by letting them out?

Codependency

2008-05-27T16:56:00.000-07:00

I used to travel a lot for business, so I was always in airports. One day, I saw what I assume was a mother and daughter, carrying a bag. They weren't each carrying a bag, mind you. They were carrying one bag between them. It was a large duffel bag, with two handles. The mother had one strap and the daughter had another, and they were attempting to walk side by side. This caused the weight of the bag to shift violently back and forth, making it very difficult for them to carry it. As a result, they looked quite comical trying to walk this way down the airport hallway. They had to stop every few steps to rest, and were obviously quite annoyed at one another.

I immediately thought that this was a great illustration of codependency. I think often we get caught up in trying to carry a burden for someone else that they have the ability to carry. Our implicit message in these moments is, "You can't handle this, you must need me to rescue you." We also say to God through our actions, "You are mistaken. My (husband, wife, sister, brother friend) doesn't have what it takes to shoulder this burden. So I need to take over for you here."

Or, we look for help in carrying a burden that is meant for us. Either way, we end up like this mother and daughter - exhausted, frustrated, and not very productive. In this example, either person in the drama could have stopped and volunteered to shoulder the burden, even if it was for a short time. Then the other could have stepped in when the first person was unable to continue.

I can hear you now. "But Art, what about in Galatians 6:2, where it says, 'Carry each other's burdens...'?" I'm glad you asked! To be clear, I'm not talking about when one person has a legitimate need for assistance and communicates that need clearly and openly. I think Paul is talking about buoying or lifting our brothers and sisters up for a short time, not a systemic situation wherein the ownership is abdicated to the helper. And he goes on to say in verse 5, "...for each one should carry his own load." Plus, I think the urge to rescue people when they don't need it is almost always about the person doing the rescuing - about their limitations and comfort. It's just dressed up as "helping" the other person.

Are there situations where you're holding one of those straps in your life? Who is holding the other one? Are there burdens that you need to set down, to allow the rightful owner to shoulder the load? Or are there things that your loved ones are helping you carry that you really are able to carry on your own?

A Metaphor For Personal Growth

2008-05-24T09:03:00.000-07:00

Last October, I was in the Bahamas with some friends of mine for a conference called "Soularize", which is characterized as a "learning party". Richard Rohr, Brennan Manning, and NT Wright were also there. Those names may or may not mean anything to you, but suffice it to say it was cool. We had a blast, of course.

On one of our last days there, I was sitting on our hotel room's balcony, looking out at the ocean. On the horizon I could see the lights of a cruise ship. It was apparently anchored, since it didn't appear to be moving. I turned my attention to the palm trees being blown by the wind and the surf. When I looked up a few minutes later, the ship was in a different place on the horizon. Yet if I stared at it, I couldn't see any movement at all.

I think growth is like that. If we constantly examine and measure ourselves, we're going to see very little movement from moment to moment, day to day. We'll appear as that ship - like we're not moving. But if we just turn our attention to doing what we can each day, and take note of where we happen to be on a regular basis, we'll look back and be amazed at the level of growth and transformation that has occurred in our lives. Asian cultures refer to this concept as "chopping wood and carrying water" - doing what we need in each moment and not concerning ourselves with "things too wonderful" for us.

The way I take note is just to write down on a regular basis (not daily, but several times per week) what I'm going through, the questions I'm living in, and what I feel God is showing me about life, about me, and about Him. I've been journaling in this way for nearly eight years, and it's easily the most powerful personal growth tool I have.

Like that ship, we're always moving. We're either moving toward God and toward our true selves, or we're moving away from God and ourselves. Which way are you moving in the various aspects of your life? How do you know?

Open Arms Prayer

2008-05-20T18:48:00.000-07:00

I realized recently that it's not possible to give someone anything if their hands are clenched tightly around what they already have. I could be holding a pile of crap, and God could be trying to give me something beyond my wildest dreams, but unless I let go and allow Him to remove that thing I'm holding onto, I won't receive it in my life.

So I wrote down this Open Arms prayer. I have gone back to it several times since I first wrote it, so I thought I would share it here. I hope it finds you well and serves you as it has me. Peace.

Open Arms Prayer

Dear Lord, I open my hands and my arms to you.
I allow you to remove things from my grasp that do not serve you.
I surrender control to you, and pray that you will fill my arms with exactly what's needed to bring me closer to you; be they trials or triumphs, joy or pain.
I accept all that is in my life today as a gift so that I may know you, know that I am in you and that you are in me, and become the person you are calling me to be today.
Amen. Alleluia!

Starting Anew

2008-05-20T18:44:00.000-07:00

I had a false start there, in February. Had a couple of pretty interesting posts, I think. But now I'm going to blog in earnest - at least weekly, and I'd like to shoot for more often. I am looking forward to getting the writing practice and sharing my ideas with yall. Let me know if something I have written sparks something in you. I'm always looking to share ideas and have great conversations. Peace.

Toleration

2008-02-13T13:28:00.000-08:00

We took one of our cars into the shop a few weeks ago. There were some minor, nagging maintenance issues that we had put off for too long. There had been a slow oil leak which leaked onto the manifold, sending a nasty burnt oil smell through the vents when the heater was on. There was also a hissing noise coming from the brakes, which also affected their performance. So we finally bit the bullet and took it in. Three days and over $800 later, it was fixed and returned to us.

My wife and I were both amazed by how different the driving experience was after it was fixed. The hissing was gone, as was the nasty oil smell (not to mention the accompanying guilt of putting off needed repairs!). It was also much safer, since the brakes worked as designed.

It struck me that we tend to do this same thing with our lives - we put up with one minor annoyance, then another, and another, and before you know it, the life we’re living is uncomfortable and inefficient, if not dangerous. It can be so deceptive, since changes seldom happen all at once. Are there things that you are tolerating in your life that you could easily correct? Are there things that only you can do for yourself that you have been putting off for too long? What advice would you give to someone who came to you and said they had been tolerating what you are currently tolerating? What’s one thing you can do to change this today? And tomorrow? How do you prevent them from recurring?

Johnny Cash: Still the Man (in Black)

2008-02-09T09:20:00.000-08:00

When I was young, my dad had this giant entertainment cabinet with a turntable and radio. He had a bunch of old country and a few pop standard albums. He still has it, in fact. He and mom would put on a stack of records (Marty Robbins, Andy Williams, Jim Reeves, Up With People) and listen to them all evening. Good stuff. But the one album that captured my nine-year-old imagination more than any was Johnny Cash Live at Folsom Prison. What a record! I would listen to that record over and over, always picking up on a new nuance or sound that I didn't notice before.

I hadn't thought about it for a long time until Walk the Line came out (the fantastic movie starring Joaquin Phoenix as Cash and Reese Witherspoon as June Carter, a role for which she won the Oscar for Best Actress). That movie takes us inside Folsom prison for the recording of the album, and reignited my imagination around the album. I just got around to ordering it last week, and it's even more amazing than I remember. I've basically been listening to it nonstop ever since. It's so raw and real, and Johnny is funny, man. He really knows how to tap into the energy of the audience. Almost all the songs are directly or indirectly related to themes of imprisonment, freedom, crime, punishment--all eternal themes, and ones he knew would strum the heartstrings of the prisoners.One thing that really caught me this time around were the original liner notes (in his own handwriting, no less) from the 1968 release. Here is a link to them: http://maninblack.net/Albums/Record_Folsom.html#Liner%20Notes (click on "Liner Notes")Take a moment to check them out. They are amazing to me.

Johnny is such a classically flawed hero. As he mentions in the liner notes (which is really more of an essay on the American punishment system) , he was behind bars more than once. He also saw firsthand the devastation of addiction to pills and alcohol, an addiction that the Carter family basically saved him from. He turned to Christianity as part of that process, and as a reformed "bad boy", his rhetoric of redemption and grace carried so much more weight than someone who had never seen the bottom of a bottle or the bottom of their souls. Johnny had seen these, and much more. He wasn't innocent. No, he was a living testament to the healing and freeing power of God. And his heartfelt compassion for the prisoners really comes through on the album. He is one of them. He doesn't put himself above the prisoners. He understands that we are all imprisoned, we all deserve punishment, we all need saving and freeing. For the record, God Bless Johnny Cash.

The Tapestry

2008-02-08T15:04:00.000-08:00

Life is made up of many elements. As a tapestry is many threads woven together - threads of different color, texture, and length - so life contains many different threads. To tell the truth, there are a lot of threads in my life that I’d rather not be there. I really don’t like pain. I’d rather have no pain or even struggle or difficulty in my life, thank you very much. Sure, I try to be thankful for everything that’s in my life. But it’s hard to be thankful for injuries, disease, pain, and suffering. It’s tempting to say that these things serve no purpose and should be battled, eradicated from life, or that we should always run away from them or ignore them. There are times to take up arms and go to battle, for sure. And there are times to remove yourself from painful situations. But what if all of the unsavory elements in your life do indeed have a purpose? I wonder what would happen if, instead of a knee-jerk, self-preservation response, we simply asked each of these threads to speak to us? What would they have to say? What are they trying to show us about ourselves, or about reality? Are you giving your unwanted threads a chance to speak to you?